JHVEPhoto – stock.adobe.com Bath & Body Works today announced its exclusive new line of back-to-school scented candles. “Our new line of back-to-school scented candles was designed to make students and teachers happier through fragrance,” said CEO Gina Smellwell as her nostrils flared in happiness as she inhaled the new fragrances. “Although not yet verified by the Food and Drug Administration, there are strong indications that using these candles may increase student test scores by up to thirty percent.” The new fragrances for this year include: Liquid Paper Lilac Pumpkin Spice Locker Room Junior High School Body Odor Blueberry Teachers Designated…
Author: Maury Levine
Maury Levine
Maury is the author of the humorous mystery 'Shopping Bagged,' a contributor to the comedy websites The Broadway Beat, End of the Bench, The Spoof, Points in Case, and Little Old Lady Comedy, and had a riff used in an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. He is also a drummer, and lives in Birmingham, Alabama with his excellent family.
Introducing Baby Eisenhower Educational Toys! Children will say “I Like Ike” as they embark on a lasting journey of learning with the lovable and cherubic version of the 34th President of the United States, Dwight D. “Ike” Eisenhower! Baby Eisenhower products include: Baby Eisenhower Touch and Explore Lil’ B-25 Mitchell Medium Bomber – Your child will love to squeeze and throw this colorful version of the plane that transported President Eisenhower during World War Two. The silicone plane is touch and movement activated – red, white, and blue lights will flash, realistic bombing sounds will blare, and non-toxic smoke will…
NASHVILLE, TN – Father of two Jeff Singletary refuses to fall into the trap of telling his children dad jokes, so he comes up with edgy and trendy comedy for them instead. “I’ve never been a fan of dad jokes,” Singletary says. “I find them corny, predictable, and too reliant on puns.” Singletary writes material daily and tests it out at a daycare center close to his house. “I’m fortunate that the daycare has open mic night every Tuesday so I can see what material works and what doesn’t. The kids there are very generous with their feedback and they’ve…
I’m a not well-known humor writer who has not been published on some of the finest humor websites on the internet. You’re probably hoping to have your humor writing not published by some of the finest humor sites, as well. You’re in luck! I’m about to share mistakes I’ve made in submitting humorous articles and the secrets to my non-success. If you follow my lead, your writing will live in obscurity for many years to come! Know What Editors Don’t Want – Don’t make the same mistake I made in dealing with an editor. Apparently, editors don’t want you to…
After 35 years and more than 13,000 performances, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera is ending on Broadway in April. As the musical finishes its historic run, the show’s actors, musicians, and technical crew are already looking for their next theatrical opportunities. While many of them are optimistic about the prospects of being a part of a different production, the biggest star of Phantom is not looking forward to finding a new gig. “I’m pissed off about the show ending,” said The Chandelier. “Just look at me, dammit. There are not many roles for a big ass fancy…
Don’t do that Righty tighty, lefty loosey Swing with your hips Jiggle the handle Don’t tell anyone Better tell someone Get two just in case Look in the closet Bring something to write with Keep it charged Have an alibi Don’t park there Let it air out Go to the restroom first If it smells bad, throw it out Slow down Lift with your legs Lyft with your car Don’t use too much salt Better clean that up Use your diaphragm
It’s that wonderful time of the year when families gather during the Christmas season. Praying together and donating to the poor…boring! Grab the kids and the least annoying relatives and take them on Exciting Christmas Experiences: Six Flags Presents The Riddler’s Mindbender Missing Jesus Nativity Coaster Thriller – It’s Christmas in Gotham City and The Riddler has stolen Jesus from the nativity scene in front of City Hall! Commissioner Gordon needs your help! The classic steel coaster has been transformed for the holidays. Each of the three loops has been adorned with gold, frankincense, and myrrh for the three Wise…
After eating a doughnut, loudly announce, “These free doughnuts are almost enough to make me forget that this company doesn’t offer health benefits!” Build a tower of doughnuts and play Doughnut Jenga with coworkers. Pick up a doughnut, look confusedly at it, and in a comical French accent say, “What is this round abomination? It is not a tasty croissant!” Use copier to make “extra” doughnuts so you’ll always have doughnuts. Hide the napkins and offer to lick the glaze off of your coworkers’ fingers. Convince a gullible coworker that the doughnut is actually a sugary onion ring. Put doughnuts…