From: Ron.OConnell@DurkinHerd.com To: Employees of Durkin Herd Subject: Ground Rules for Our Fifth Annual Office Holiday Grab Bag Hey Everyone, Since we’re closing in on the end of the year, I wanted to reach out to lay down some rules for the office holiday grab bag. Just to clarify, this IS the fifth annniversary of the event. As many of you know, it was formerly known as the office “Secret Santa,” but we changed the name to make it sound more inclusive. Thank you for bringing that to HR’s attention, Gina. Rules: The gift limit is $20 Since it’s the…
Author: Mike Brian
Mike Brian
Mike Brian is a comedy writer and performer based in New York City. Follow some of his shenanigans on Twitter @themikebrian and at mikebriancomedy.com.
Every year, Americans are introduced to a new Thanksgiving phenomenon to put on their kitchen table; however, few know where the ideas for these delicacies come from. In order to give you the full indulgence of these Thanksgiving dishes sweeping the nation, we have explored the origin of some of these most popular platters. Turducken What it is: A chicken stuffed inside of a duck, which is then stuffed into a turkey. Origin: A kinky turkey said he was up for whatever. Turkey Cake What it is: A cake with layers of turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, stuffing, and mashed…
1. Donald Trump visits premier Long Island pumpkin patch in effort to lay low and blend in with the crowd before debate 2. Rudy Giuliani bites head off of bat in pre-debate rally 3. Bernie Sanders given 1% milk in coffee, delivers right hook to barista’s throat 4. Ben Carson hoping to be awake for late debate start, but won’t guarantee it 5. Rudy Giuliani ritualistically cuts off head of goat in effort to bring Trump good juju 6. Hillary Clinton receives zero “good luck” emails to date, but thousands of “good luck” cards 7. Rookie security officer forced to tell John Kasich to leave backstage…