What you will need: A sledgehammer An old tire placed on its side An overwhelming sense of rage Workout #1 1. Carefully grip sledgehammer 2. Stand approximately 12 to 18 inches from tire 3. Assume a staggered stance, with one foot slightly in front of the other 4. Swing sledgehammer at tire 5. Repeat until red haze lifts from the world Workout #2 1. Grab sledgehammer 2. Hit tire with it 3. Repeat until you reach an acceptable level of muscle fatigue and/or imaginary vengeance 4. Glance around nervously to make sure no one saw you 5. Perform five minutes of cool-down exercises Workout #3…
Author: Ralph Gamelli
Ralph Gamelli
Ralph Gamelli has written for McSweeney's Internet Tendency and other sites he's too lazy to type right now. He's also written the very first internet author's bio not to include a Twitter link.