Author: Robert Criss

The first shot of an action hero is supposed to set the tone for a movie; remember your initial glimpses of James Bond or Batman, and compare them with Waterworld, which shows Mariner peeing into a bottle, pouring the fluid into a home-made chemistry set, cranking a handle to process it, and then drinking it. – Roger Ebert And this symbol of regeneration  – taking one man’s waste (urine) and turning it into the same man’s beverage (processed urine) – rings true to the film’s environmental message. What will James Bond do when the polar ice caps melt and he’s forced…

Is something going on? Don’t actually answer that because I think I know the answer: something might be going on.  Just the other day I was online, and all the pictures were gone. Well, there were pictures but they were completely black. It was like a coordinated blackout or something. Must be something to do with cutting back electricity usage, I don’t know. I think it’s a good idea whatever it is. Personally, I unplug large appliances whenever I’m not using them to save power. But it’s just something I’ve noticed on the internet. Probably reading too far into it.…

Donald Duck Salutations, I’m your aquatic pal Donnie. Check out my blue jacket, matching cap and pants-less undercarriage to complete my incomplete sailor’s garb tailored for a bivalve mollusk. I have famous dog and vermin companions you may have heard of if you’re a child exposed to media. As you can tell, my raspy voice is unmistakable to your prepubescent ears. I’m the star of some of your favorite American propaganda films that you saw at the nickelodeon theatre in 1943. Happy birthday! Arnold Schwarzenegger …998…999…1,000 body biggers. Me done so can have crusher arms for make explosion murder blood.…