Remember these? They hold up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZnronVFyDE&t=3s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTXfAtckS3g
Author: The Robot Butt Staff
The Robot Butt Staff
We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.
In 2018, Burger King had a limited time Burger that was dyed black and scientifically designed to cause literal nightmares. The actual press release from this promotion is pasted below: In partnership with the Paramount Trials and Florida Sleep & Neuro Diagnostic Services, Inc. and Goldforest Inc., the Burger King® brand conducted a scientific study over 10 nights with 100 participants (or should we say victims?) who ate the Nightmare King before they went to bed. By tracking various signals from the sleeping subjects including their heart rate, brain activity and breath, a group of doctors and scientists identified whether the individuals…
*This post was a part of Robot Butt Live! on Friday, March 24th, 2024. It was a chaotic live show that sold out the biggest theater in America and won multiple awards. Hello loyal audience! If you are waiting for the show of a lifetime to begin, check these out! If you aren’t at the show right now, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES OF TUCKER!!! ROBOT BUTT LIVE! (2024) FACE VALUE (2014) LITTLE GUY (2009) I WANT TO BE WHERE THE BIRDS CAN SING (2020) HOLD MY SADNESS (1999) SELF PORTRAIT (2024) WARHOL (1978) PHOTO OF TUCKER…
Buy tickets here!
The Mascots Are All Actual Animals Instead Of Costumes They will still be on the field and in the stands having a good time. The Detroit Tigers ticket sales are at an all-time low. It is unclear if it is because of the new mascot rule or because they are the Detroit Tigers. Every Nut Scratch Is In Memoriam This Year Tommy Nutscratch, the pitcher for the 1936 Newark Peppers who originated the move, passed away this year after a long battle with testicular cancer. Every team has agreed all nut scratches this season are in his honor. Getting Hit…
Remember when Elon Musk wanted to buy The Onion and then started his own comedy site that immediately failed? Surely he’s ready to get hurt again. What are the odds we can get him to notice us and give us a couple million? I know we definitely missed the boat and the boom on sites like this was like a decade ago when CollegeHumor wasn’t a gameshow network, but come on, surely we can still pull it off. We just gotta write something controversial and have it go viral enough that he comments “interesting” or “you are saying the truth”…
This year has certainly had its ups and downs here on our comedy website. With major successes like our second zine and that time we correctly predicted every single 2023 and future Oscar winner and tougher moments like when our brother was found murdered in Margrave, Georgia and we were arrested as the prime suspect. Luckily, multiple bus tickets were able to easily exonerate us, meaning we will be free to keep posting all throughout 2024. Here are some of the bigger things we are cooking up: More Zines! We loved making last year’s Halloween compilation and we are particularly…