Author: The Robot Butt Staff

Why didn’t you all just tell us? We would have joined way sooner if we had any idea that you wanted this. I didn’t even consider it until we received a recent email. I’m posting the body of the email here. It’s unedited except I’ve redacted out the personal info just in case this person is a huge fan of the site and would be embarrassed to be put on blast like this: Hi there, my name is [REDACTED] and I am the owner of [REDACTED] – a professional OF agency based in [REDACTED]. That said, we have been able…

Are you ready to take your driving to the next level with a (I assume) versatile vehicle at a (I assume) great price? Then look no further than, the maker and seller of this car we’re promoting. You know the one! Okay, I’m going to level with you. I’m an intern here and Steve told me to make sure this post goes up before the weekend no matter what. His note says “we have to run the car ad, I’ve already spent the $35 they’re paying us.” The issue is that’s all it says. I have no idea who we…

Some days we just don’t have it in us to check our inbox or write something comprehensible. We are aware that one those days it would be disingenuous and insulting to post something and expect you to read it. So, instead, this post is for your dog. Show it to them and see if they like it. If they like it we will do hundreds of more posts just like this one!

Here are our picks for the major category winners of the 2025 Academy Awards. We expect them to all be confirmed during tonight’s Oscars telecast! Actor in a Supporting Role Jimmy Kimmel for his performance hosting the 2024 Academy Awards. Actress in a Supporting Role My aunt Denise, who sincerely told my dad to “shut up” during a heated game of Scategories during my family’s beach vacation. Actor in a Lead Role Wyatt Russell for the scene in Night Swim where, after he becomes possessed and his family begins to fall apart literally and metaphorically, he goes in his garage,…

A lot of people have said I’m “dumb” and “going to prison” for writing a 600 page novel that explains how to write a parody listicle in a Google Doc, but I insist I’m just following in the footsteps of of other far more successful websites, like Poptropica or, in this instance, eBay. In the year 2000, Wizard magazine had an issue that came with a free mini-comic called Adventures @eBay. This short sloppy comic used crude art mixed with actual photographs of a computer screen to teach readers how to purchase comic books on eBay. The instructions are led…

When we heard that Tubi was going to be the only place to watch the 2025 Super Bowl, I immediately said “that’s nuts, I’m in a movie on Tubi. This is the first and potentially last time the super bowl will air on a platform I’m also on. Unless I get back and shape and make a run at joining the Eagles, like Mark Wahlberg in Invincible. I was all district in high school and had a scholarship offer to a D3 Christian school. Maybe if I started doing crunches tomorrow, but this time next year I could be a…

If your school takes the SAT exam instead of the ACT, disregard this article and instead watch the 2004 teen heist thriller The Perfect Score, starring a young Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans, long before they would share a spicy kiss in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. I’ll post a link to watch the movie on Paramount Plus below: https://www.paramountplus.com/movies/video/FTIDkridAXYWGohpmi7CyQcLOXh_VW6_/?searchReferral=desktop-web&source=google-organic&ftag=PPM-23-10bfh8c Ah hell, here’s a link to Captain America: The Winter Soldier too: https://www.disneyplus.com/movies/captain-america-the-winter-soldier/TVme5whcowSy?distributionPartner=google Now, onto our ACT answers. Look, I get it, our humor site isn’t exactly cool to high schoolers. They only use the internet for stuff like Roblox…

Remember these? They hold up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZnronVFyDE&t=3s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTXfAtckS3g

In 2018, Burger King had a limited time Burger that was dyed black and scientifically designed to cause literal nightmares. The actual press release from this promotion is pasted below: In partnership with the Paramount Trials and Florida Sleep & Neuro Diagnostic Services, Inc. and Goldforest Inc., the Burger King® brand conducted a scientific study over 10 nights with 100 participants (or should we say victims?) who ate the Nightmare King before they went to bed. By tracking various signals from the sleeping subjects including their heart rate, brain activity and breath, a group of doctors and scientists identified whether the individuals…

*This post was a part of Robot Butt Live! on Friday, March 24th, 2024. It was a chaotic live show that sold out the biggest theater in America and won multiple awards. Hello loyal audience! If you are waiting for the show of a lifetime to begin, check these out! If you aren’t at the show right now, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT LOOKING AT THESE PICTURES OF TUCKER!!! ROBOT BUTT LIVE! (2024) FACE VALUE (2014) LITTLE GUY (2009) I WANT TO BE WHERE THE BIRDS CAN SING (2020) HOLD MY SADNESS (1999) SELF PORTRAIT (2024) WARHOL (1978) PHOTO OF TUCKER…