Author: The Robot Butt Staff

Can you believe that Miranda Kerr is actually a supermodel? She is a monster in every sense of the word – not just physically, but emotionally as well. And yet, we’ve allowed her to infiltrate the sacred world of modeling and poison our idea of true beauty. Up until now, no one has been brave enough to expose her for what she is, but we’re finally taking a stand. Don’t believe us? The amount of evidence is staggering: 1) This disgusting crease in her left wrist will make you want to vomit. And look at that provocative pose, trying to seduce…

You open your eyes and you’re on a desolate moor. Fog rolls over the hills like the blood coming down the halls from the elevator in that one scene from The Shining. You hear a scream that sounds like it may have come from another dimension, hell, another planet, or something else entirely. You’re scared. Blink, and now you’re lying in a graveyard that looks like it hasn’t seen foot traffic since the first release of Night of the Living Dead. Of course there’s a full moon hanging dangerously low in the sky. A noise hits you from around a…

With Monica Lewinsky on Twitter, we took a look at ten other ’90s hits that could use a modern update. 1. Save time at the store by already knowing what you’re going to buy. Check out the new Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wardrobe app! Instantly add your favorite Fresh Prince outfits to a picture of you and know right away if you’re a Carlton or a Will. 2. Don’t wait a minute too long with the new Creepy Crawlers Countdown app. It lets you know exactly when your creepy crawlers are done setting so you don’t miss a minute of fun!…

Cry, foe! Run amok! Fa awry! My wand won’t tolerate this nonsense.— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 6, 2014 Harry Potter fans far and wide had their panties in a knot over J.K. Rowling’s recent riddle tweet. Could this be an allusion to her upcoming film? Is it the secret key to figuring out why Hermione went for Ron over Harry? Is J.K. just once again milking that succulent HP teat? Not long after the tweet was sent out, Rowling confirmed that one HP nerd got it right. Apparently the answer to the anagram riddle was, “Newt only meant to stay in…

Here at Robot Butt, we take our sports seriously, just like how we take everything else seriously. There is no time for lighthearted tomfoolery in our cold, cruel world. Anyway, the arrival of October can only mean one thing (no, not pumpkins and beautiful fall weather): the Major League Baseball playoffs! We’re ready to watch the most action-packed game get even more action-packed, so to celebrate, here are just a few of the things we’re looking forward to most this postseason: 1) The return of Ten-Cent Beer Night and a suspicious lack of security. 2) The relieving absence of Derek Jeter. 3)…

Every single movie could stand to be improved from the inclusion of pizza. But there are some especially cringe-inducing absences of everyone’s favorite food in film history. And to think, some movies that originally contained pizza scenes GOT RID OF THEM. Today, we’re pointing out 20 of the most horrendous, impossible-to-ignore examples with the hope that one day, Hollywood will hear our collective voice and right these painful wrongs. The movie Glory originally focused on the statewide Pizza Championship in Glory, Indiana, but was altered to a Civil War film in editing. The Lady and the Tramp’s famous spaghetti scene was originally of the two…

For Pizza Week, our dedicated team of historians have been working around the clock for months to discover what may be the four most important instances of pizza in history. These photos, never seen before, show for sure that pizza has played a bigger role in human culture and development than perhaps anything else. 1. Mao Zedong’s Pizza Party Revolution 2. Pizza is delivered to the moon for the first time. 3.  A conveniently located pizza shop refreshes hungry troops and turns the tide of World War II. 4. The promise of pizza delivery, not previously available under English rule,…

Well, it was another great year for the San Diego Comic-Con, which has become a true beacon of popular culture. As we all learned once again, nerds will go crazy over any glimpse they can get at upcoming movies, comics and video games, and the way the creators of said entertainment are worshiped will surely bring about apocalyptic rage from the heavens. But who cares as long as we get to see Batman and Superman duke it out on screen before God smites us all. Throughout the history of the event, though, not every panel or booth has been so…

Batman is 75 years old, but the geezer still knows how to dish out punishment to the world of crime. During his time, Batman has gone on some great adventures and traversed through some memorable storylines, but there are just some facts that fell through the cracks. Luckily, we’re here to give you 25 little-known nuggets about the Caped Crusader that you probably didn’t know. 1. It took Bruce Wayne years to learn to trust the various technologies used on his utility belt. His early crime-fighting days often ended with a Coast Guard helicopter assisting him down from the rooftops of Gotham…

The Fourth of July is here again! We know that  you’ll be spending the day with friends and family, throwing back a few cold ones by the pool, grilling out and listening to some excellent patriotic tunes as you pump yourself up for the evening’s fireworks. But there are always ways to enhance your Independence Day experience, so we’ve put together 25 of our best tips for having the greatest Fourth of July of all time: 1. Wave an American flag and have fun with your friends! 2. Bald eagles look great, but they taste even better! 3. Pretending a…