Author: The Robot Butt Staff

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If607waOrE0&feature=youtu.be The anticipation for Star Wars: The Force Awakens has reached a fever pitch, aided by a brilliant marketing campaign that has refused to spoil some of the biggest moments of the movie. But that doesn’t mean we can’t still guess as to what’s going to happen when this film is finally unleashed upon the public. Here are 20 predictions for what’s going to happen in The Force Awakens: J.J. Abrams delivers on his promise to return incest to the plot of the new trilogy in a big way. In a powerful scene, the Rebel Alliance realizes droids are basically slaves and everyone…

With the release of her long-awaited new album 25, Adele is once again all the rage. And in a recent Wall Street Journal article, it was reported that a Nielsen analysis found the majority (62%) of Adele’s fans to be soccer-playing, light beer-drinking moms between the ages of 25 and 44. But who makes up the rest of Adele’s rabid fan base? We did some research of our own to find out, collecting it in the infographic below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbpB6QAm3mA Black Friday shopping is stressful, but it doesn’t have to be! With these 16 tips, you’ll be nabbing up sweet deals and taking care of business all day long. Sleeping in front of Best Buy can double as that camping trip you promised your son. You may not think you need more bath towels, but you haven’t truly lived until you’ve bought one at 90% off! Fun fact: Black Friday is named for the color your soul permanently turns upon entering a Walmart at 3 a.m. for a Toby Keith box set. Don’t leave the kids out of the fun.…

1. Cut it off. 2. Get rid of it. 3. Cut it off and immediately apologize to your friends and family. 4. Cut if off. 5. Just cut it off. 6. Cut it off now. 7. Cut the whole thing off. 8. Cut it off and make sure it never comes back. 9. Cut it off and have your memory erased. 10. Stop brutally offending everyone around you and cut if off. 11. Burn it off your head. 12. Don’t be such a conspicuous asshole and cut it off. 13. Get rid of it immediately. 14. Cut if off. 15.…

A few days ago, we received this letter from Thomas Perez, the United States Secretary of Labor (featured above), with explicit instructions that we share it with our audience. Hi, I’m Thomas Perez. You might know me as the Secretary of Labor for these United States of America. I started on July 23, 2013, and I’m proud of the progress we’ve made in my tenure. Unemployment is down, job numbers are up, and the economy is doing pretty well. But I’m never satisfied. We can always improve the job-seeking process for Americans, both young and old. With that in mind, I…

Oh, but we’re not going to show you what it is. It’s far too disturbing. It would rock you to your core and make you reconsider everything you’ve ever known. If you were to see what this mother does next, you wouldn’t be able to continue your life without thinking of it. It would consume you and, ultimately, destroy you. But trust us, it’s bad.

Fluffy has seen how withholding her owner can be as a sexual partner, and now knows better than to trust him. No matter how hard he tries to move past it, Scooter will be forever haunted by his refusal to get off the twin bed while his owners had intercourse on it. “I know now that nothing will ever cleanse me.” It’s especially hard for Sunny to enjoy his owner’s pets after watching her debase herself and “beg for a treat” like a common mutt. Eddie’s perspective of the world and respect for his owner was shattered when…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqFnh9-FRoc Ben Carson has recently come under fire after a video surfaced of him declaring that the Egyptian pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain. And with more scrutiny being placed on the Republican frontrunner, we were able to uncover some more of his unconventional thoughts. Here are 19 other things Ben Carson believes: The Statue of Liberty was built by the Israelites to scare away Satan’s giant crows. He only ingests food through his nose, believing his teeth have a higher purpose. He believes that if he just speaks softly enough, America will trust that what he’s saying is…