At 8 p.m. ET tonight, we will be experiencing an exciting leap into the future! That’s right, in order to properly align Earth’s rotation with the atomic clock, we will be leaping forward a second in time into a world of limitless possibilities. So to get the most out of your leap second, we have provided you with 20 of the best ways to spend it. You can: 1. Engage in an extra lovemaking session with your wife. 2. Count the number of times you’ve felt happy. 3. Watch all of the worthwhile moments in Entourage. 4. Kiss another dude because lol, why not,…
Author: The Robot Butt Staff
The Robot Butt Staff
We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.
Hey! Thanks for checking out this article about Kim Kardashian. It’s a very good and in-depth article about Kim Kardashian. It has many exciting facts and the latest updates about her life, which, through our extensive research, we have found you crave with a ferocious, unrelenting desire. As the beacon of journalism, TIME.com has proven that it is important to write very good articles about Kim Kardashian. So, with that in mind, we present to you: The Kim Kardashian Article You Deserve We have written a lot about Mrs. Kardashian-West here, because this is what you want. This is what…
1. Dad jokes 2. Dad strength 3. Mowing the lawn 4. Coaching baseball 5. Extremely large historical non-fiction books 6. Tucked-in shirts 7. Sports knowledge 8. Owning a grill 9. Socks and sandals 10. Lounge chairs 11. Arguing with customer service representatives 12. Sleeping upright 13. Clip-on sunglasses 14. Incredibly large white socks 15. Nicknames for children’s friends 16. Self-treatment of injuries 17. Cigars 18. Adjustable caps 19. Nondescript white athletic shoes 20. Staunch political beliefs 21. The Eagles 22. Making small talk with waiters and waitresses 23. Email chains 24. Shorts above the knee 25. Shoulder pain
Jurassic Park is one of the greatest films ever made. There is no question about that, and even more than 20 years after its initial release, fans are still clamoring to learn everything they can about the movie and its sequels. Lucky for you, we’ve compiled 13 of the rarest bits of trivia about the series! 1. The T-Rex roar was actually produced by recording Steven Spielberg as he yelled at an intern to bring him coffee. This was then slowed down 500% and played backwards. 2. The velociraptor that fogs up the glass of the kitchen door was actually played…
It’s a real shame that dinosaurs (likely) no longer exist, because it sure would be a lot of fun to watch certain people get ripped to shreds by a Tyrannosaurus Rex or slowly eaten away by a compsognathus pack. There are just so many people in the world who deserve to watch their bowels spill from the giant gash in their stomach, courtesy of a dinosaur that has selected them for its next meal. Only then will they understand the tremendously negative effect they’ve had on the world. We can at least dream, right? Anyway, there are millions of people who deserved…
“My biggest fear right now is retirement. I’ve had a long and fruitful career, but when I look back on everything that I’ve done, I can’t help but ask myself, ‘What have I built?’ It’s pretty scary to realize that you have no foundation anywhere around you to set up a future for yourself. All those years spent needlessly destroying opportunities. I still have a few more good years left, and it’s time to start creating something that will last the rest of my life.”
Yeah, we just endorsed Hillary Clinton. But then we saw that Marco Rubio announced his candidacy and, well, there’s just something about him. His attempts to pass comprehensive immigration reform. The passion in his voice when he speaks. His perfect hair and piercing eyes. It’s just something we’re drawn to. And, yeah, we know we’re supposed to go for Hillary. She would be the first female president, and that’s supposed to be something we want. It would be undoubtedly cool. But Rubio would be the first Latino president. And thinking about him keeping us safe from ISIS, in his warm embrace,…
Oh helllllll yeah, this is the big ticket we’ve been waiting for. The worst-kept secret in the political world (except maybe that her marriage isn’t just a public front) is finally out in the open: Hillary Clinton is making another run at the White House. She’s got her sights set on the Oval Office, and short of joining ISIS, we at Robot Butt believe she’s going to get there. Just look at the dumpster fire that is her Republican competition. Ted Cruz? Rand Paul? Marco Rubio? Please. We doubt those guys could ever pull themselves away from smelling the sweat…
Editor’s Note: Ron and Rand Paul are two different people. Please rewrite this before publishing. Previously, we threw our hat into the political ring by endorsing the late, great Ted Cruz. That has all changed now that Congressman Senator Ron Rand Paul has entered the ring. We have thrown it around the office, and we’ve decided that we’re endorsing Ron Rand Paul for President of the United States of America. POTUS! Congressman Senator Ron Rand Paul is a man of principles; principles that haven’t weakened in his long tenured career. As a former presidential nominee of the Libertarian Party, As…