These breadsticks are looking pretty lubed up. Nice and slick, perfect for sliding into your mouth with no resistance. There we go, that’s the good stuff. So close you can practically taste it. So close it’s taking everything in your power not to lock the doors, close the curtains and set aside a four-hour block of private time between you and these throbbing rods of baked bread. Holy shit, that’s nice. Are you sure you should be looking at this while at work? Your boss could come over any minute and see this. Fuck it. That makes it even…
Author: The Robot Butt Staff
The Robot Butt Staff
We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.
New York Yankees legend Yogi Berra recently passed away at the age of 90, and he left behind a gigantic legacy in the game of baseball and beyond. While he was certainly known for his exploits on the field, Berra might have been even more famous for his paradoxical and whimsical quotes about the game and life in general. By now, everyone knows his classic quotes, but he had so many others that haven’t got their rightful day in the sun. We’re here to change that! Here are 15 lesser-known Yogi Berra quotes that you’re sure to love: 1) No…
From Animal House to Old School, there have been so many great college movies throughout the years. But for every zany college film that hits the zeitgeist, there have been dozens of others that have fallen through the cracks. So as we all settle into a new school year, let’s remember some of the best obscure college movies you still need to see, including: Godzilla vs. MIT Ralph: The Animated Adventure of a Frat Brother’s Vomit Gradpocalypse Now National Lampoon’s Fuck It, Another College Movie Dean Schindler’s List Air Bud: Hair of the Dog Indiana Jones and the Eternal Stack of Ungraded Papers…
A brand-new season of exciting NFL football is here! Well, you’ll find the exciting football action after the thousands of hours of commercials. And after all of the standing around between plays. And, of course, after the millions of hours of replay reviews. But after all of that, you’re going to experience MINUTES of extreme football excitement all the way until February! So to get you sufficiently pumped up to lose all of your Sundays for the rest of the year, here are 27 surefire predictions for the 2015 NFL season: Tom Brady’s early return sets Q4 sales records in UGG…
The only thing more exciting than the start of a new school year is the prospect of outfitting yourself with a brand-new set of clothes. Nothing says you’re ready to shred your studies better than a fresh look – and best of all, you might just catch the eye of that special someone in the process. Sounds pretty sweet, right? Luckily, we’ve got you covered with our complete guide to all of the hottest back-to-school fashions for 2015. Check it out below and dress yourself for guaranteed success! Brian’s light, breathable Robot Butt T-shirt helps him to be on…
A brand-new school year is here, and you don’t want it to get off to a bad start. Of course, there’s nothing tougher than that first week back, but don’t worry! We’ve made it easier for you. Simply follow these 16 essential tips and you’re sure to survive your first week of school: 1. Start a fight with the biggest professor at your college to show dominance. 2. Remember, no one wants to peak in high school, so make a point to be the biggest loser that nobody likes to ensure your future success. 3. Colleges really want to see that you play…
Now that Jared Fogle is going to prison (insert footlong jokes here) for charges related to possession of child pornography and having sex with minors, we can add another famous person to the long list of celebrities – often beloved – who have proven to be despicable, horrific monsters. Whether it’s Fogle, Bill Cosby, Stephen Collins, Hulk Hogan or any of the other celebrities who have dark and horrible secrets, the only thing we know for sure is that everybody is evil and the rate at which we are discovering this is increasing exponentially. So who’s next? Here are the official betting…
At 8 p.m. ET tonight, we will be experiencing an exciting leap into the future! That’s right, in order to properly align Earth’s rotation with the atomic clock, we will be leaping forward a second in time into a world of limitless possibilities. So to get the most out of your leap second, we have provided you with 20 of the best ways to spend it. You can: 1. Engage in an extra lovemaking session with your wife. 2. Count the number of times you’ve felt happy. 3. Watch all of the worthwhile moments in Entourage. 4. Kiss another dude because lol, why not,…
Hey! Thanks for checking out this article about Kim Kardashian. It’s a very good and in-depth article about Kim Kardashian. It has many exciting facts and the latest updates about her life, which, through our extensive research, we have found you crave with a ferocious, unrelenting desire. As the beacon of journalism, TIME.com has proven that it is important to write very good articles about Kim Kardashian. So, with that in mind, we present to you: The Kim Kardashian Article You Deserve We have written a lot about Mrs. Kardashian-West here, because this is what you want. This is what…
1. Dad jokes 2. Dad strength 3. Mowing the lawn 4. Coaching baseball 5. Extremely large historical non-fiction books 6. Tucked-in shirts 7. Sports knowledge 8. Owning a grill 9. Socks and sandals 10. Lounge chairs 11. Arguing with customer service representatives 12. Sleeping upright 13. Clip-on sunglasses 14. Incredibly large white socks 15. Nicknames for children’s friends 16. Self-treatment of injuries 17. Cigars 18. Adjustable caps 19. Nondescript white athletic shoes 20. Staunch political beliefs 21. The Eagles 22. Making small talk with waiters and waitresses 23. Email chains 24. Shorts above the knee 25. Shoulder pain