Smiling doesn’t win you gold medals.Simone Biles, Third Runner-up on Season 24 of Dancing with the Stars Competitive Smiling 4-Meter Sprint Mental Gymnastics (Assuring yourself that Trump can’t win the election) Archery, À la The Hunger Games Milk Gallon Challenge Beer Pong Dad Garage-Band Talent Show (Every group only plays Free Bird and is named “The Grateful Dad”) Arm Wrestling WWE Wrestling Web Surfing A Failed NBC knockoff of Survivor IKEA Furniture Assembly Singles Yoga Doubles Yoga Couples Therapy Break Dancing (nevermind) Axe Catching Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater for Nintendo 64 Mega-golf The Stanford Prison Experiment Monkey Bar Racing Bullfighting Karate: Fly catching Table Tennis: Fly…
Author: Ryan David
Ryan David
Ryan David is a Jewish comedy writer with an unflattering cheese addiction. His work has appeared in Slackjaw, Points in Case, The Haven, and he is a staff writer for End of the Bench Sports.