Author: Sam Stoothoff

It’s another proud day in America. The sun is shining on us all a little brighter, birds are singing and the snow is melting, because we, thanks to the rule of law, launched our president into space. No one wanted it to come to this, but it’s what the Founding Fathers explicitly stated. How they knew what exactly space was, or that we’d be able to somehow get there I’ll never know, but they did. They told us if the president did a boo-boo, of any kind, bam, you’re outta here. Enjoy the endless dark of space, dummy. Having it…