The year is 1912. Burns D. Caldwell, president of Wells Fargo, responds to the River City, Iowa city council’s investigation into Wells Fargo. Good people of River City, I know some terrible things have come to light recently regarding the con man known as Professor Harold Hill, but let me make this clear: Wells Fargo did not engage in conning children out of music lessons. We may be just a delivery company, but we love music. In fact, every time one of our wagons has the pleasure of delivering a box of maple sugar, or a grey mackinaw, or some…
Author: Sam Suksiri
Sam Suksiri
Hi, I'm Sam Suksiri, a freelance comedy writer from San Jose, California. After not quite finishing the UCB sketch writing program in Hollywood, I went on to contribute to McSweeney’s, Points in Case, Slackjaw, and in 2018 won first place at the Austin Film Festival for a comedy audio drama I wrote. But most of the time I’m writing, editing, performing and doing whatever else needs done as the creator of Traffic Therapy, an audio sketch comedy series.
So there’s a lot of horrible stuff going on lately. But like most people who occasionally catch a glimpse of cable news while loading up the next episode of their true crime podcast at the gym, I don’t think there’s been a mass shooting in America for like… a while? I mean, I suppose if I looked into it at all I might find there has been a mass shooting almost every single day since 2019 began, but not like mass mass shootings. I mean, it’s one thing if lots of people die. But it’s a whole other thing if…