Author: Sarah Lehman

Bonjour Marie, As you know, I’m moving to your beautiful country from the US due to a recent promotion. My assumption is that there’s a ton of inventory in your area and it’s a great time to buy. Here are my must-haves for the upcoming house hunt— I’m sure they won’t be hard to find! I’m looking for a brand new, turnkey house with the kind of character and charm only found in homes built before the 1960s. I want ornate turn-of-the-century architecture paired with the clean lines of sleek, modern interiors. Think Rosa Aurora marble countertops and heated LuxTouch…

Allow me to introduce myself. My eyebrows may be the color of midnight now, but when I was little, they were as light as a yellow Labrador retriever. You could hardly see them, that’s how pale they were. Yep. If you flip through my mom’s old photo albums, you’ll see– I was blonde as a baby. When people ask if I’m naturally blonde, I flash a picture of me as a beautiful bouncing baby with a halo of honey hair like it’s an FBI badge at an active crime scene. Like it’s proof of vaccination at the 2021 Lollapalooza. Like…

1. Thanks so much for having us over for dinner! I’m sorry about the red wine spill, the consequent Coca-Cola stain, and then the small house fire. Bet you wish you splurged for the Ruggable now! Haha… my bad. 2. What a trip. We’re exhausted, but we had a lot of fun! I’m not sure if you picked up on the fact that Jessie was acting a little weird at the guided tour thing, but it’s only because we didn’t expect there to be costumes and she has an extreme fear of wizards. It actually really sucks – the wizard…

You scoff at the TV as hundreds of eager attendees lug their prized possessions around the Antiques Roadshow campus. The person struggling to carry a five-foot landscape painting – get real. The woman with a chunky armoire that required a midsize U-Haul – you’ve gotta be kidding. The man wielding two Katana swords, a definite safety risk to everyone around him – come on, dude. Sorry, what? A ripped and soiled cocktail napkin with an illegible signature on it should be insured for $40,000? Interesting! You know what? You might have some collectibles lying around the house. Your coffee table.…

After maneuvering a squeaky cart with two broken wheels through the narrow aisles, you approach the grocery checkout with trepidation. You don’t want a pompous robot to berate you for your bagging technique. But unfortunately, you tend to embarrass yourself and land in a shame-induced coma after interacting with a fellow human being. Well, you’re in luck! Here are ten tips to avoid saying something annoyingly idiotic to the grocery store cashier. – Become so engrossed in a magazine that you lose all sense of space and time. Did Khloe Kardashian gain three pounds? Will Bennifer tie the knot at…

Hello, neighbor. It’s me, the trampoline next door.  You look surprised. You think you’re sly, don’t you? I see you sneak a peek at me while you make your morning coffee. But sure, play dumb. I have no problem reminding you of the hell I’ve been through – the hell you continue to idly observe. Your elderly neighbors impulse-purchased me in summer 2020. We were months into the pandemic, and grandma and grandpa were desperate to see their grandchildren. An ethical choice? I don’t know – I’m a trampoline. (At least I provide an outdoor activity, unlike their ping-pong table……