Author: Steve DiMatteo

In the White House region of the Most Soulless Person to Associate With Donald Trump tournament, we’ve got some real heavy hitters. Who’s going to emerge from the likes of chief strategist Steve Bannon, counselor Kellyanne Conway, Vice President Mike Pence and bulbous-headed resident Nazi Stephen Miller? Not to mention the rest of Trump’s Cabinet of Horrors! It’s going to be wall-to-wall excitement to the very end. Follow along below to see who punches their ticket to the Final Four! Update: Second Round Results We have our first upset! It was another nail-biter for Vice President Pence, and this time…

It’s March, and you know what that means: IT’S TOURNEY TIME , BABY. This year, we’ve got the tournament to end all tournaments. We’ve somehow narrowed a field of hundreds, possibly thousands, of people down to just 64 and throughout this month we will finally have the answer to a question we’ve all been asking: Who is the most soulless person to associate with President Donald Trump? The tournament is divided into four regions: White House, Congress, Family/Trump Organization, and Assorted Deplorables. Each region is absolutely loaded with potential powerhouse picks, so it’s going to be a brutally close fight…

Young Jeezy’s “Put On” has been a staple of sports hype videos for years, and it remains a popular song for when you need to be sufficiently pumped up, ESPECIALLY when you’re ready to put on for your city. But for all of its bravado and chest-puffing, there’s something odd in Jeezy’s second verse regarding his relationship with vegetables: Pocket full of celery, imagine what she tellin’ meBlowin’ on asparagus, the realest shit I ever smoked It’s obviously beyond strange to keep your pockets bursting with celery, but to imagine what it might be saying to you? That’s fairly unhinged.…

In our new post-truth society, rooting out the facts and gaining true knowledge for yourself is more important than ever, which is why we want to showcase the curious minds who frequent our site. After all, learning is the most contagious virus of all, spreading across humanity as a beautiful, unstoppable force. So with that in mind, here is an unedited list of our favorite search terms used to find Robot Butt in February: dog poop 666illuminatiworld@gmail.com chuck lorre satan forced to be breastfeeding men porn hillary clinton seduced a man hitler slept late jabba the hutt steve bannon trump…

You know that feeling when you’re sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on a Saturday afternoon/early evening with nowhere to be, and you come across a movie on cable that makes you think, “YEAH BABY, THIS IS THE ONE. MY NIGHT IS READY”? You’ve seen that movie hundreds, maybe thousands, of times, but it doesn’t matter. Every time it comes on, no matter what part it’s on, you’re watching it to the finish. Bill Paxton was the king of those movies. And after passing away Sunday from surgery complications, we now have to look back and take stock…

Look at that picture. LOOK AT IT. There is no way you can say that that’s not Jon Hamm fiddling with a thermostat in a stock photo. I know he’s been bouncing around a bit lately, most recently filming a series of commercials for H&R Block, but this apparent dive into modeling for stock photography has largely gone unreported and, until now, unnoticed. But there Jon Hamm is, as plain as day, sporting a mustache and setting a thermostat for use on websites all over the world (he’s not even looking at the camera!). This type of work can’t pay…

Getting a solid nickname for yourself is the single most important thing you could ever do. Everything about your life – the opportunities presented to you, the respect you earn, the people with whom you associate and develop relationships – derives from the moment you are christened with your official, unalterable nickname. It could happen in grade school or it could happen while you’re minding your own business at your desk during an internship. The moment you earn your nickname comes out of nowhere, with no warning, but once it does, your life will be forever changed. But how do…

President Donald Trump held a dizzying press conference last week, educating the public on uranium and trumpeting his false claim of having the biggest electoral college victory since Reagan when he wasn’t telling a Jewish reporter to sit down and be quiet or asking a black reporter if she was friends with members of the Congressional Black Caucus so she could arrange a meeting with them for Trump. In other words, it was just another MAGA-filled day at the White House. So after having a few days to digest Trump’s press conference, how bigly would you say he won it?…

Dr. Brooke Simmons is an astrophysicist researching galaxies and black holes, specifically the co-evolution of supermassive black holes and their host galaxies. When she isn’t spending her time figuring out the mysteries of the universe, she is also on the Zooniverse and Galaxy Zoo teams, which allow regular people to contribute to scientific research, such as the study of why so many people effortlessly break the Prime Directive in Star Trek (I think). We caught up with Dr. Simmons below and got her to give up the juiciest details about supermassive black holes and the mysteries of universe (hint: it definitely…

Republican Congressman Jason Chaffetz is having himself a banner couple of weeks. First, the House Oversight Committee Chairman got peppered with “Do your job!” chants at a recent town hall with his constituents in Utah because there is a fat orange grifter currently in the White House. And while Chaffetz took it and kept a dialogue going during the event, he later called the booing and jeering attendees paid protestors, which is a favorite line of the Trump administration when reacting to any opposition whatsoever. That’s bad enough to make someone think Chaffetz had potentially lost his testicles in a horrible…