Author: Steve DiMatteo

It is within one’s nature to want to boldly go where no man has gone before (I thought of that whole thing myself; don’t look any of it up). And what is more bold than navigating our way through the cosmos? We at Robot Butt are all about breaking down boundaries and expanding the limits of comedic exploration, so it’s only natural that we would devote a week of content to space and all of its glorious and hilarious mysteries. Also, The Force Awakens is coming out and Disney thought it could use a little help in its marketing because hardly anyone…

Adele’s newest album, 25, is a mega-success and fittingly so. But what’s most amazing about the album is that between all of the love ballads, all of the songs about having a broken heart, there is one track that stands out from the rest, one that appears to be some kind of real-life horror story Adele has had to endure for quite some time. The song is “River Lea” and here is the first verse, along with the chorus: When I was a child I grew up by the River Lea There was something in the water, now that something’s in…

“Knowledge, like air, is vital to life. Like air, no one should be denied it.” – Alan Moore, V for Vendetta With that in mind, here is an unedited list of some search terms used to find Robot Butt in November: grandpa sex hot dog ben carson related to johnny carson beowulf butt mayonnaise industry the email for the brotherhood were i can sell my soul intelligence is satanic miranda kerr illuminati sacrifice bored butt miranda kerr armpit hollywood sex video 2015 picture of hitler as an old man future hot pics penis humans evolved from t-rex butt is it profanity…

Is humanity really so desperate to destroy itself? Has Terminator truly taught us nothing? At the pace we’re going, not only will computers end all human life, but we’ll apparently be ready to welcome our destruction with open arms. Just look at how we treat IBM’s Watson supercomputer, which is getting closer to sentience each and every day. First, there are the commercials, like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqjndtS8jQU Propaganda has never been so cute. We’re raising an entire generation to not just respect artificial intelligence, but bow down to it. I don’t like all the questions Watson is asking little Annabelle. Even though I’m…

“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.” – L. Frank Baum, The Lost Princess of Oz With that in mind, here is an unedited list of search terms used to find Robot Butt in October: how to make your pumpkin look like a butt hole real pictures of the devil in hell can i get in trouble if carry a machete on halloween a dog driving a car photos big hot nice robotic ass history of nelly harriet tubman butt what should a contract for selling…

Is your boss breathing down your neck? Do you have so much to get done that you don’t even know where to start? Are you not accomplishing anything in your life that you once set out to do? Are you just feeling beaten down by everything around you? Is your life a mess in every possible way? Don’t worry about it! It’s all good, because thanks to recent research by scientists in the Galaxy and Mass Assembly Project (GAMA), we now know that the universe is slowly dying and, one day, will cease to exist at all. According to the…

The human race is practically begging to be annihilated by machines. With innovations such as IBM’s Watson, driverless cars, smart TVs, the Amazon Nexus and so much more, it’s clear that we’re moving closer and closer to a world where the machines will inevitably rule. Though we have fought back by destroying early incarnations of our eventual oppressive masters such as hitchBOT, this just doesn’t seem to be a train that can be stopped. Can you believe that people actually felt bad for hitchBOT’s appropriate death? This kind of sympathy is the exact type of weakness the machines will one…

According to sources within the production of the 88th Academy Awards, Chris Rock will be the show’s next host. The decision is expected to be formally announced October 20th. The Academy initially looked at pairing Rock, who also hosted in 2005, with someone else. After considering Jimmy Fallon, Ellen DeGeneres and Amy Schumer – and after Schumer turned down the hosting duties – the Oscars are sticking to their typical method of having just one master of ceremonies. A call to Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences CEO Dawn Hudson for comment was not returned. As you’ll remember, the ceremony last went…

A wise man once said, “The future is unknown.” That man was me, and it was just now. What do we really know about the future, though? What kind of secrets can we unlock about it? What meanings are hidden in there for us to find before they’re even revealed to us? The answer is, of course, none. We’re talking about the future here, stupid. No one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow. The only thing we really know about the future is that it’s terrifying and hopeless and we should all be constantly afraid of it. So what reason is…

As the age-old belief goes, if you slob on the right knobs hard enough, anything is possible. This is especially true in Hollywood. Kanye West certainly knows this truth, evidenced by his recent tweet effusively praising director Robert Zemeckis for his recent film The Walk: Now why is West so blatantly trying to get a rise out of Zemeckis’ penis? It could be that he simply loves the man’s filmography, which is vast and impressive, but it’s more likely that West is just trying to secure the role of Marty McFly in the inevitable Back to the Future reboot (though the filming might overlap…