Author: Steve DiMatteo

The short answer to this question? Probably not long, but it’s also just as possible that you get away with something like this for years before finally succumbing to a vicious beatdown. It’s a question worth asking, because in American culture, this is one of the most egregious, disrespectful things you can do to a person. Though simplistic, the middle finger is a universally enraging insult, a perfect gesture for when you really want someone to know that you’d prefer it if he/she would just fuck off. No one likes to receive a middle finger, but when it does happen, the first…

Like his best friend Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza went through a pretty impressive list of women in his day. One of the most interesting, though, would have to be Celia Morgan, a convict from “The Little Jerry” episode. In it, George visits a women’s prison on behalf of the Susan Ross Foundation, and it’s there he meets Celia, the prison librarian who is serving time for embezzlement. They hit it off and George asks her out, sort of. While talking to Jerry about it, George makes many compelling points for having a girlfriend who is behind bars and dreams of wonderful conjugal visit…

Thanks to Kotaku, I now know that Japan has a Hand Job Day – which is today! Happy Hand Job Day! But even better than the fact that Hand Job Day is even a thing is that it has its very own exciting mascot named Tengaman. Tenga is the name of a company over there that creates masturbation toys, and Tengaman is their official “Masturbation Hero” or, even better, “Masturbation Warrior.” As expected, there is some seriously good marketing around Tengaman and Hand Job Day, which has culminated in a nearly 18-minute movie where Tengaman does stuff like blow up a…

One of the biggest “In my day…” moments of my life was Pluto’s demotion from being a full-on planet in our solar system to a dwarf planet, or plutoid. It was even given a new, incredibly demeaning name: “asteroid number 134340.” I was brought up to believe that Pluto was an integral member of the Legion of Planets (that’s definitely what they’re called), and all of that came crashing down in 2006. What am I supposed to do with “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas” now? But I never gave up on Pluto, and I have always maintained…

For a little while this week, we seemed to be closer than ever to discovering the existence of extraterrestrial life. Astronomers Chandra Wickramasinghe and Max Willis from the University of Cardiff claimed that the comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko, which is being occupied by the Philae lander, could potentially hold alien life based on data from the Rosetta probe orbiting the comet. To them, there was potential evidence for microbial life beneath the comet’s black crust. But other scientists have swooped in to dismiss those claims, saying it’s impossible to tell at this point and the “evidence” cited by Wickramasinghe and Willis is extremely flimsy. So for now,…

As humans, we have been so successful and made so many innovative strides because of our inquisitive nature. We are born to ask questions about the world around us, and I see that firsthand when I look at our site’s analytics. Take last month, for instance. We were inundated with visitors who discovered Robot Butt through a wide variety of unique search terms and phrases – things like “penis trough” and “dino boner.” All of these examples prove that humanity’s collective thirst for knowledge is insatiable; luckily, we’re here to help. Here’s a look at just some of the search terms used to…

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. You’ve certainly heard that quote, right? It’s true – the importance of understanding history can never be understated. But we should really be asking ourselves, “What more can we get out of history? What more can we learn?” For example, when it comes to the history of U.S. presidents, we’ve all read the biographies, watched the documentaries and endured the lectures at school. We’ve been taught the same things over and over again; so much so that it’s become a practice of memorization. We’re not actually learning anything about these…

Sometimes, life gets pretty tough. Everything is bearing down on you and all you want to do is scream, or maybe cut off your penis. That’s exactly what rapper Christ Bearer did last year, and now he’s finally telling his story. It’s a pretty solid cautionary tale that should prevent you from ever mixing PCP while watching Family Guy and American Dad. (VladTV) When the Ku Klux Klan is on your side, that’s probably a signal to rethink your opinions. The KKK is dusting off its white hoods to rally at the South Carolina statehouse on July 18 to protest the…

As you know, the Supreme Court ruled yesterday that same-sex marriage is a right and every state in the country must recognize it. It was a huge win for gay rights and humanity overall, proving that maybe there is a reason to always hope that things can actually get better in our world. Since the decision, it’s pretty much been a nonstop nationwide pride party, and the one of the most surprising/encouraging things out of this is just how much widespread happiness there really is surrounding the decision. The fun and celebration likely won’t stop anytime soon, so to help keep…

AMERICA DID A GOOD THING. (Washington Post) Of course, not everything is going well in the country. What exactly is going on in New Hampshire? According to a recent CNN poll, 29% of voters in the state believe that Donald Trump would be the best presidential candidate to handle the economy. Jeb Bush was in second at 13% nobody else was above 7%. With all of this talk surrounding the Confederate flag and its relation to the Civil War, would it just be possible to make New Hampshire secede from the United States? (CNN). The west side of Cleveland, Ohio is in…