Author: Steve DiMatteo

In Ohio, the state motto is “With God, all things are possible.” The phrase is born from Bible scriptures, specifically Matthew 19:26, which reads: “And looking at them Jesus said to them, ‘With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'” It’s certainly a powerful Bible verse, and people all over the world can find meaning and solace in it. But it just doesn’t feel complete, like it could benefit from the inclusion of an much-needed caveat. With God, yes, all things are possible, but the same holds true for the NBA on NBC theme song, which…

It’s not an overstatement to say that Stuart Scott was one of the main, essential reasons why I grew up loving sports. Having been born in 1988, Scott really was synonymous with ESPN for me, and to this day he always, simply, made everything he did fun to watch. And throughout his career, he really did do a little bit of everything (he proved to be a great host for a couple of ESPN’s wacky games shows). These days, the network and much of the sports world takes itself far too seriously, but every time I got the chance to see Scott,…

In the cereal world these days, it seems that all brands are required to have a chocolate variation of some kind, no matter what kind of cereal the original offering is. And as a cereal consumer, it doesn’t matter if it feels wrong, like it goes against every fiber of your being to eat a chocolatized version of your favorite cereal; this is just the world in which we currently live. Kids especially want their chocolate for breakfast, and you best believe they’re going to get it. You might as well join the party. This is the conclusion I came…

Depending on what kind of movie fan you are, 2015 is either going to be the best year of your life or a big, fat reminder that opportunities for pure originality in filmmaking at a blockbuster level are slowly being crushed to death by sequels or reboots that aim to capitalize on the name of a famous property without really putting in any of the work. And we can’t forget about the continuations of long-standing franchises, either. Sure, some of the movies on this list will get delayed or moved to 2016 for any number of reasons, but don’t you…

It’s always great to get an inside look at the process of a creative person, especially one as prolific as Sylvester Stallone. Recently, he tweeted a picture of his desk, where he was hard at work on the screenplay for a spinoff in the Rocky series, called Creed. On the desk you’ll find notepads, a whole bunch of knives and mementos from his career, including…a masturbating John Rambo figure? Judging from the top right corner of this picture, Stallone apparently paid to have a custom Rambo figure made that features the character furiously masturbating while his muscles bulge beyond belief. What a fascinating…

Sherwin-Williams is a paint and building materials company, but judging by their logo, it looks like the Fortune 500 company also has aspirations to begin a systematic genocide of every single human on Earth: Not only does Sherwin-Williams want to “Cover the Earth” (which is the most sadistic slogan I’ve ever heard), but the company wants to cover it in a red liquid that sure as hell looks like it could be the blood of billions of innocent people. Just look at the way the “paint” so menacingly douses the entire world, its drops so thick as the can continues…

For all of the bizarre, unprecedented attention it received, The Interview is pretty much exactly what you would expect it to be (not that any of its coverage could have changed that fact). That’s not to say it didn’t have the opportunity to become a classic comedy, because it certainly did, and in different hands, it might have done just that. Instead, The Interview is a typical Seth Rogen-James Franco movie, which means there are a litany of dick, fart, sex and poop jokes crammed into a plot that only exists to further along many more dick, fart, sex and poop jokes. But that doesn’t mean The…

Have you ever wondered how far up your nose your finger will reach? I have. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been fascinated by sticking my finger up my nose. And I’ve always been convinced that if I reached far enough, I could actually touch my own brain. Everyone has always told me that it’s essentially impossible, since there is a bone called the cribriform plate that essentially creates a ceiling to your nose to protect your brain. I’ve been told by many doctors that I couldn’t do it and, worse, that I shouldn’t do it, because I could die…

Halloween rap stinks, but Christmas rap is an entirely different story. There’s an abundance of Christmas rap, hip-hop and R&B out there and, for the most part, these artists aren’t just mailing it in for an easy paycheck. There is a lot of legitimately good Christmas rap out there, none of which gets the recognition it deserves, except for “Christmas in Hollis,” which is maybe – maybe – in the top five for best Christmas hip-hop songs of all time. So to give Christmas rap its rightful due, here are ten of the best holiday rap albums out there: 1) Christmas on…

Now that the North Korean hackers (that still really doesn’t make any sense to me) have proven they can bring down a movie studio with the cancellation of The Interview, it’s time to see if we can put this massive influence to good use. So if you’re out there hackers, please take a moment to consider my plea. Is there any way you can get Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 canceled from all theaters worldwide as well? I understand that you got The Interview’s release canceled for different reasons, but it’s just as important that the world never lay eyes upon the offensive horror that is…