Author: Steve DiMatteo

We all know stock images can get pretty messed up, but look at the one we’ve included below. This is the most batshit crazy stock image I’ve ever seen. It might not seem that way at first since, most of the time, stock images are more overtly weird; you can instantly tell when it’s not right. Maybe it’s a stock image of a guy with devil horns having extreme bowel issues. Maybe it’s a picture of a wife about to cut her husband’s head like lettuce on the kitchen counter. Maybe it’s just a disturbing amount of pages devoted to…

You might not realize it, but the display advertising you find in Target stores can range anywhere from being hilarious to downright terrifying. Here, we will chronicle this demented segment of the retail world. In the nature vs. nurture debate, this is definitely a case for a parent’s influence directly – and negatively – impacting a child’s future. According to the in-store advertising at Target (which you’ll find to the right), if you dress your child like this, he’ll be ready to take on recess! But what it’s really saying is that while he’s ready for recess now, he’ll be ready…

Go ahead and walk into a store right now. Any store will do. You’ll think that you blacked out and came to a month later, having already missed the gut-busting joy of Thanksgiving and skipped right ahead to the festive merriment of Christmas. But no, you didn’t fall into a month-long coma; what you’re seeing is real. Everywhere you look, Christmas is slapping you right in the face. Sick Santa displays stare at you with contempt, knowing full well they don’t belong out in early November but also knowing there’s nothing you can do about it. Decorations and lights litter…

Rogue Squadron Podcast covers a little bit of everything and this week, they take a look at their favorite Pokemon of all time. If you’re in your 20’s, there’s a pretty great chance you were obsessed with Pokemon when you were a kid (and continue to have an undying love for it). And if you weren’t, you probably can’t read this anyway because you’re in prison or something. For many of us, the original 151 Pokemon are all that will ever matter. We like our Blue and Red (yeah, maybe even Yellow, but that’s stretching it) versions and that’s just about it. And…

Wow! Did you see those pictures of Kim Kardashian from Paper Magazine? Did you see how she got all oiled up and then put her entire butt on display? Did you also know that someday you will cease to exist on this planet and everything will continue to move along as if you never mattered in the first place? And did you notice the other picture where Kim turned around and exposed her boobs – and her vagina?! Also, have you ever been aware of the fact that, since we’ll all eventually be dead, everything is pretty much pointless? Holy…

“Why won’t she just eat the fruit?” Jake asked himself after a third unsuccessful attempt to playfully feed his girlfriend, Amanda. “She’s making me look like a fucking doofus at the park.” Amanda only recently found out about Jake cheating on her, but he in fact did not yet know he was caught. To him, Amanda was simply being difficult, a tremendous pill ruining such a bright, sun-drenched day. More misguided self-assurance that what he was doing supposedly behind her back was somehow justified. But to Amanda, this was the beginning of a long process that was meant to tear Jake…

We all have goals in life, but some goals are simply more important than others; they simply carry more weight. Some goals have the ability to change the way we look at the world, or to even bring down the establishment itself. Right now, Alan Martin of Burlington, North Carolina is on his way to accomplishing one of those transcendent goals by eating at Olive Garden nearly 100 times over the last six weeks. His ultimate aim? To eat the most Olive Garden of the 1,000 lucky people who bought a $100 “Never Ending Pasta Pass” that actually does exist.…

Deep down, I think we all knew that Taylor Swift was the kind of girl who would show up at your work and start yelling at you in front of your co-workers. Then when you try to calm her down, she’d scream even louder and say, “SEE! Do you all see how he’s trying to control me?!” Then pretty soon after, she’d ask if you two were still on for the weekend and you’d absolutely say yes. Until now, we had very little proof of this part of her personality, though. Aside from some breakup songs and ballads, which, admittedly, aren’t…

The rap game has been all over Christmas, from Christmas on Death Row (which includes the perfect “Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto”) to Run-D.M.C.’s “Christmas in Hollis” to Eazy-E’s “Merry Muthaphuckkin’ Xmas” to a whole slew of other old-school and even some new-school offerings, there is no shortage of hip hop and rap songs about Santa, presents and general mayhem around Christmas time. But where’s the love for Halloween? Sure, there are countless rap songs about murder, internal demons, doing some pretty psycho stuff, etc. But none of them are really outright about Halloween itself. Are Bobby Pickett’s “Monster…

This is what happens when you let dangerous minds operate without regulation of any kind. The animals at Papa John’s have introduced the Fritos Chili Pizza, a monstrosity that includes beef, chili sauce, Roma tomatoes and onions, topped with cheddar and mozzarella cheese. But the real madness is that the pizza is finished off with a layer of Fritos corn chips. That’s right – some sad employee at your area Papa John’s is forced to dump an entire bag of Fritos onto a beef pizza, which means: A) The employee will have to weep for humanity on a daily basis.…