Author: Steve DiMatteo

Pizza rules, and the only thing that makes it better is when you get pizza without paying for it. So where does free pizza rank among the greatest things on Earth? Pizza in and of itself is no doubt a top-ten thing for a variety of reasons, which include: “Bad” pizza is still great It can be part of any meal It’s excellent both hot and cold You can easily eat an entire pizza and not feel any shame for it No one hates pizza; if someone claims to not like, they’re flat-out lying It’s the only food that can…

Bill Murray has always given off the aura of being a mystical, nearly mythical, human who can float through the world undetected, appearing at will in the most random of places. Occasionally, he decides to appear on movie sets, but so rarely has he ever materialized for a real interview. But that’s exactly what he did this week when he appeared on Howard Stern’s show to promote his upcoming movie, St. Vincent. For as long as he’s been around, Stern has done some of the best interviews of anyone, so an hour of him and Murray together is really quite the listen (to…

You might not realize it, but the display advertising you find in Target stores can range anywhere from being hilarious to downright terrifying. Here, we will chronicle this demented segment of the retail world. This is the picture I recently found above some generic athletic T-shirts in a local Target store: It’s really nice of Target to try and capture what seems like an innocent scenario, albeit an obviously impossible one. But I’m to believe that the white kid in this picture is going escape that tag? Please. Unless that generic athletic gear from Target comes equipped with superpowers, it…

Adam Sandler recently signed a deal with Netflix that will have him make four movies for the digital streaming network. Sandler’s movies have always taken on a certain look and theme, but as Sandler has settled lately into a pretty comfortable routine, it’s pretty easy to tell what these four will be like. So with that in mind, I figured I’d take a stab at predicting four possible plots for Sandler’s Netflix movies: Three’s a Problem! – Eric Tanner (Adam Sandler) is a polygamist, married to Miranda Kerr, Blake Lively and Jennifer Lopez, but can he manage a happy  life with all…

I’m dripping wet. Bodily fluids waterfall through every crevice, determined and with terrifying purpose. Nothing around me but flesh. Pink, doughy, incalculable girth. Doorbell. Moans of ecstasy ring loud – our screams are heard. Pizza’s here. Related articles The Greatest Pizza Moments in History We Will All Bow Down to the Pretzel Pizza Things You Should Know About: Pizza Tunes Pizza Knievel Jumps to Help You Get That Coffee Fix Pizza Knievel Destroys Monday Once and for All

It’s true. No matter how much you prayed – no matter how much you tried to bargain with God…it’s true. Derek Jeter has officially retired from the game of baseball. Now that the season is over, reality has finally begun to set in that the Captain won’t be coming back next April, and he won’t be winning any more World Series with the New York Yankees. These can be some really dark and trying days for Yankees fans. After all, for the past 20 years, Jeter was a constant beacon of hope and perfection. Without him, what reason is there…

Over the weekend, Ohio State assistant strength and conditioning coach (and former player) Anthony Schlegel obliterated a fan who ran onto the field in Columbus. But what if Schlegel was forced to body slam a humongous runaway hot dog instead? Through computer magic, we’ll never have to wonder what would happen in a scenario like that. As you will see below, Schlegel would still get the job done.

Our rights as Americans are being infringed upon on a daily basis. The latest case of this ongoing travesty comes from Oklahoma, where a man – Jorge Perez – was simply minding his own business before being harassed by the cops. That’s right, Perez was just trying to take a bath in a local public fountain, washing his hair with mayonnaise, perhaps a strategy for maintaining its health. Apparently, this scared a number of people who witnessed it happen, but why were these sick Peeping Toms staring in the first place? Either they were upset they didn’t think to do it…

Hurricane Odile wreaked some havoc in Mexico and the southwest United States last weekend, but can you really blame it? After all, it was probably only acting out after growing up with such a ridiculous name, which, I can assure you, bullies zeroed in on from the very start. Sure, you might argue that the Odile name is unique and it really shows off an individual personality, but that doesn’t mean there was any mercy shown to the storm. Odile was unique, sure, but in the sense that it’s unique how much of a pounding it got for having such…

Demi Lovato, an apparent pop star I could never identify if I had a gun to my head despite seeing a picture of her right this second, has an inescapable song out right now called “Really Don’t Care,” a full-blown girl power anthem that features plenty of anger directed at a nameless, faceless guy, including Demi giving said guy the finger – in public! But it’s the chorus to this song that makes it so interesting: But even if the stars and moon collide I never want you back into my life You can take your words and all your…