Author: Steve DiMatteo

These poor people. At one point, being a Top 40 DJ actually meant something. Now, there is nothing to do but pimp the exact same playlist each and every hour with increasing – and baffling, almost mentally unstable – enthusiasm, as if we’ve never heard “Royals” before, despite it playing ten minutes ago. This isn’t a job. There is no room for creativity or an individualistic flair. You are bound to play certain songs, tell a horrendous joke and move things along. You are a cog in a merciless, sadistic machine. Where is God’s mercy for these souls? Related articles…

With the World Cup underway, you may have noticed that soccer fans are coming out of the woodwork. It’s one big party and everyone’s invited. But, like many other hipster parties you try to attend, you’re ultimately thinking of any excuse to leave short of just walking away without bothering to tell anybody. Obviously, you couldn’t care less whether or not I watch the World Cup or just mindlessly tweet a player’s name when he scores to break up an agonizingly long scoreless tie. And that’s fine, but like any other hip endeavor, it sure doesn’t feel like it’s okay to think…

Well, the reality has finally set in. A trailer for Dumb and Dumber To actually exists, the answer to all of the suspicions that maybe we were all just being fooled into thinking a sequel was being made. Because it does seem pretty implausible, doesn’t it? As for the trailer itself, there are really only two ways to look at it: 1) Do you like the original Dumb and Dumber? You’re going to be excited for the sequel based on what you see. 2) Did you hate the original Dumb and Dumber? What made you possibly think this trailer would change your mind?…

Since Halle Berry won an Academy Award for her role in Monster’s Ball, she has sort of been…coasting. Sure, she was Jinx in Die Another Day, but that only gets consistently ranked as one of the worst James Bond movies of all time. And hey, she is in the X-Men movies, despite never being given much to do. And there was Catwoman. Peppered between those have been movies like Gothika, Perfect Stranger, Dark Tide, a segment in Movie 43 and The Call. There have been a few decent ones thrown in for good measure, but you can go ahead and tell me which ones those might be (does…

Miss out on seeing Ghostbusters in its original release or when it has been re-released in the past? Beat yourself up no more, because the movie is making its way back to theaters once again this August to celebrate its 30th anniversary. It’s important that you take advantage of this opportunity, because classic, groundbreaking movies don’t just always get re-released into theaters. And Ghostbusters is one of the best comedies of all time, which is an indisputable fact. It’s a perfectly crafted story featuring some of the best comedians and – more importantly – comedy writers of their time. Its originality becomes more…

I’ve been to two Weird Al concerts in my life, about 15 years apart. The first, I was somewhere around ten or 11 years old and, naturally, I went with my parents. I remember a lot of high kicking, costumes and, even then, the amazement at the band’s ability to switch between so many genres of music so quickly, almost completely mirroring the original sound. And then in 2013, when I saw Weird Al again at an outdoor venue during the summer, it was refreshing and amazing to know that he hasn’t lost a step as a performer. The kicks…

There’s nothing cuter than a puppy acting like a human, like when it wears a suit. And now they want to drive our cars? Fine by me. Especially after hearing that a German shepherd puppy in Massachusetts accidentally drove her owner’s Dodge Neon right into a pond after jumping in the car and knocking the gear shift into drive. What’s cuter than that? Frankly, we should let more dogs drive. They couldn’t be any worse than humans, and it would be a lot harder to get road rage staring at an adorable, floppy-eared golden retriever. Related articles German shepherd puppy drives owner’s car…

In the latest example of a harmful industry funding a study to tell you exactly what you want to hear, the American Beverage Association wants to convince you that drinking diet soda will, somehow, help you lose weight. This is great news to people who can’t stop drinking diet soda and are looking for any sort of justification to keep doing it, despite the fact that aspartame will cause any of the following*: The ability to grow new limbs, but not ones you want or where you’d want them The birth of hyper-intelligent babies likely forced to live the plot of Baby Geniuses Blood-red…

Johnny Manziel went to Las Vegas over the Memorial Day weekend to hang out with his celebrity friends and take advantage of the fact that he’s 21. This, somehow, was the biggest NFL story of the week, and people – who call themselves adults – spent hours discussing and writing about it. Manziel has yet to play a professional snap, but the world just couldn’t keep its cool. So while the NFL community continues to lose its dignity in pursuit of the next Johnny Football story, one hopes the kid starts locking the bathroom door; everything’s apparently fair game now.…

When I was growing up, I recorded full VHS tapes of Weird Al music videos, playing them over and over again, unknowingly shaping my own sense of humor. I never really knew Michael Jackson’s music as a kid, or at least never close to as much as I knew Weird Al’s versions of it. That was never my reasoning for loving “Eat It.” It actually took me a while to seek out music that wasn’t just a Weird Al parody. I had his cassettes and I memorized the lyrics, and to this day, I couldn’t recite anything from “Beat It”…