Author: Steve DiMatteo

There used to be a day when Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson was on the path to becoming one of the hardest rappers out there. Remember when he was shot nine times? Like many others before him, though, Jackson began to branch out into other areas. He became an actor and starting shilling for a lot of companies, including SK Energy, which culminated in him apparently having sex with Joan Rivers. But that’s okay, because the guy’s just following the money, which is completely understandable and should be applauded. But the trade-off is that the street cred begins to erode away…

On Memorial Day, it’s vital that you take time to remember those who gave their lives to ensure that you can live a life full of the freedoms you likely take for granted. And, as the unofficial kick-off to summer, Memorial Day is also a time to party. So at some point this weekend, while you’re sipping that beer in front of the grill, letting the sweet smoke form a layer of glorious stink all over you, remember to consider why you’re able to do things like: Wear jorts Enjoy a three-day weekend in the first place, where responsibilities disappear…

There is nothing greater in the world than the vaunted three-day weekend. With that extra day, the possibilities of life are truly endless and, for what feels like the first time in your life, everything simply feels…right. But it will also make you wonder why every weekend can’t be a three-day weekend. “Why, God? Why tantalize us only to strip it away so quickly?” But you’ll get no answer. For even in times of pure enjoyment, there is no escape from life’s intent to inflict pain in an unjust world. Related articles What If Every Weekend Was Three Days Long? At…

Levi Strauss CEO Chip Bergh is telling people that he never washes his jeans. Even Anderson Cooper rarely does it. I have met other people like this in the world, too. And you know what? They just about always smell terrible. Have you ever tried to put on pants that haven’t been washed in weeks, or even months? It’s like putting your legs right through an ass and carrying the stink along with you. In what reality do you think you can go without washing something that you constantly fart right into and be okay? Related articles Why You Should Never Wash…

The title for the upcoming Man of Steel sequel will be Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. Obvious Justice League set-up aside, the title is just…lame. It feels like the title to an offshoot video game, not what is supposed to be one of the biggest, most anticipated movies of all time. Plus, it lends itself to jokes like this: Batman V Superman: Lawn of Justice – Aging superheroes fight the young children of the neighborhood who love messing up everyone’s gardens Batman V Superman: Yawn of Justice – Batman and Superman are babies in this delightful romp about who can stay awake the…

Godzilla has already made a ton of money (i.e. the sequel awaits), and for good reason. It’s the Godzilla movie we’ve been waiting for, and here are five reasons that helped Hollywood somehow get it right: 1. Michael Bay had nothing to do with it We all know what kind of movie this could have been. And if someone like, say, Michael Bay were to realize his vision of Godzilla, it would have been nothing but wall-to-wall monster destruction, which can get old no matter what you’re trying to tell yourself right now. Instead, director Gareth Edwards took the slow-burn approach,…

The World Cup is coming to Brazil this summer, but if you’re planning on going down there to support your country, keep these things in mind: You’re probably going to get robbed When you do, just let it happen, and possibly even consider asking the robber if he/she needs any help in finding something of yours they want A pamphlet will be passed out advising visitors to not “react, scream or argue” with their assailants, because that will only make things worse (like, you know, murder). You’re there to have fun and enjoy some soccer, so why bother getting upset…

Every team in the NFL has its own draft strategy, a way that they believe opens them up to finding the true talent. This year, the Dallas Cowboys employed something new to try and take them to the next level. More than anything, they just wanted to find players who wouldn’t pee their pants. That’s right, the Cowboys sifted through all of the bed-wetters trying to become professional football players and plucked the ones who aren’t afraid to step onto the gridiron without a diaper. Cowboys assistant director of player personnel Will McClay explained this innovative strategy: “Who will most…

There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. For the past 11 years, the world has been subjected to the pain and torture of Two and a Half Men, a sitcom so bad that you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a parody. More mind-boggling is that it has consistently been one of the highest-rated shows on television, as the 11th season still averaged 9 million viewers. It’s enough to make you physically ill, and we still need to survive The Big Bang Theory, but the knowledge that Two and a Half Men will be out of our lives after…

For most of my life, I considered modern country music to be little more than formulaic trash. But then I grew up and became a guy that just wanted to drive with my windows down and some tunes to accompany the bright, blue sky and the wind whipping through my car. And shoot, if I was on somebody’s lawn drinking a beer on a Saturday morning in June while in college, I sure felt like the world’s problems couldn’t touch me when…whoever it was came on. To that end, I really started to appreciate the genre. In this vacuum, country…