Author: Steve DiMatteo

One Direction’s music is pretty catchy and things will go a lot smoother for you in life if you just admit it. Having said that, shreds have been floating around the Internet for quite some time (such as this Creed gem), but the recent shred videos involving One Direction have been something to behold and the best one is the rendition of “Story of My Life,” which you can watch below. I could explain what a shred video is if you aren’t familiar, but it’s much better to go in clean and just enjoy the ride.

Kanye West is possibly the most polarizing entertainer out there through a series of increasingly bizarre life decisions and declarations on Twitter. But there’s no taking away his often unmatched lyricism. Take, for instance, two lines of his part in DJ Khaled’s “Go Hard (Remix)”: “When I came up, ya’ll gave me shit / Now I’m gonna make ya’ll eat them turds.” This is tremendous for a few reasons: Kanye draws you in by relating to you as a normal person. Who HASN’T been given shit before and dreamed of sweet retribution? Kanye then instantly makes you remember that he…

Is there any reason not to believe that fast food establishments are really just testing us to see what hideous things we will eat? The latest thing you will be ashamed to eat is anything that comes from Taco Bell’s breakfast menu, which includes items like the Waffle Taco, the A.M. Crunchwrap and various other incarnations of meat, cheese and eggs stuffed into things. Trying to hold all of a breakfast in a waffle is something a five-year-old would do, but now you can recapture that youth while simultaneously begging for forgiveness from your god. The menu has actually been…

If you’re an adult who still eats Hot Pockets, may God have mercy on your soul. However, there has been no better time to quit eating these bundled-up fart factories than now, as some are being recalled for containing “diseased meat.” Don’t try to justify it. Don’t say, “Well, it’s just a couple kinds. I don’t even eat the Philly Steak and Cheese varieties!” Just do your body and rectum one small favor and stop eating Hot Pockets all together. You may think it’s normal to want to warmly welcome death after a meal, but that’s just not how it’s…

Is the laughter about to die in the world? It’s something we might have to potentially come to terms with, as clown colleges are quickly becoming ghost towns. Red floppy shoes sit alone with no feet to fill them. Not one unsuspecting dweeb will be depantsed. The giant red nose and trick flower industries forced to plan for their impending downfall. And why is this? Who is left to terrorize the youngest children of this world? Apparently, kids these days just don’t think being a clown is “cool.” Here is an industry begging for workers, quite possibly serving as the key…