Author: Steve Wyatt

Battery Free range Free range with a tour guide Free Range Rover rides to town Free bus trip to a local museum on Tuesdays Weekend release pass with tickets to Six Flags amusement park One week trip within the contiguous United States – includes $30 per diem Summer in The Hamptons (based on seasonal availability) Skiing in Aspen (based on seasonal availability) Royal Caribbean Cruise Private yacht in St. Tropez, France Private Island Organic

With all these nicknamed evil-doers running rampant, you can never be too sure if that word you overheard is the next big thing in crime or something internal that still might kill you. Lockjaw Typhus Hysteria Necrosis Ringworm Botulism Spasm Cholera Eczema Goiter Shingles Atrophy Bursitis Catarrh Mumps

ZOMBIE: You crave slob behavior and are ready to give up on life. Unable to accept praise about your disheveled, rotting appearance, you answer, “Nice costume!” with, “What costume?” WITCH: You prioritize a need for acceptance over originality. Manipulative and scheming, you wish you could cast a spell on any mean girl who says, “With that nose, it really was Sandra’s only option.” BATMAN: Bored with who you’ve become, you’re desperate to recapture an air of mystery. Only by concealing your dad bod can you avenge the death of your youth, career, and/or marriage. ROBIN: You’re a middle management type stripped of all self-esteem…

Indiana Jones and The Colostomy Bag of Doom Indiana Jones and The Gates of The Walk-In Bathtub Indiana Jones and The Ruins of The Adult Diaper Indiana Jones and The Tribe of The Stained Pajamas Indiana Jones and The Shuffleboard Crusade Indiana Jones and The Raiders of The Last Chocolate Pudding Indiana Jones and The Sacred Housecoat Indiana Jones and The Dentures of Kathmandu Indiana Jones and The Tale of The Golden Walker Indiana Jones and The Lost Erection Indiana Jones and The God of Canned Peaches Indiana Jones and The Angina Nemesis Indiana Jones and The Saggy-Assed Idol Indiana…