Author: Tejas Joshi

Dear Tom, I’m sorry, but I have to get this off my chest. I think we should break up. Look, it’s not you! It’s just this new situation – being captured by aliens and kept in this enclosure while they try to get us to reproduce – is a bit too much for me to handle. Someone told me once that 90% of love is timing, and, right now, that sure feels right. If we had gone on a few more dates before they tore the roof off that Waffle House and sucked us both up with some sort of…

5. Jamie  I should give some credit where it’s due – Jamie himself is the least of my problems. At least he’s the one kid on the soccer team with the sense to go get help when Pete fractured his arm at practice, instead of just sitting there and whining like the rest of the morons. It’s his mother, Suzanne, who makes me want to just turn this car around and drop her kid off at the bus station across town. Twice now, Suzanne has skipped her turn driving the kids to the game, claiming that her corporate job is…