Author: Tim Gaydos

Apparently Fox has a lot of confidence in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip. The studio heads believe in this movie so much that they have intentionally bumped up the release date to compete head-to-head with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. This is a ballsy fucking move for the pun-based franchise. It’s already been accepted that Star Wars is going to be the biggest movie of the holiday – if not all time. Whether or not it ends up being good is irrelevant at this point. Star Wars will end up making enough money to humble Donald Trump. So for Alvin…

Last weekend, you may have stumbled upon a video featuring a group of sorority girls at a baseball game, ignoring the goings on and taking a bunch of selfies like the self-absorbed narcissists all millennials are. And the game announcers were right there to call them out for being the worst generation ever. And if you didn’t stumble across it, I have it here for you to stumble to now! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4URj2bICgQM Oh man, aren’t those girls stupid! They’re too concerned with making faces to pay attention to the world around them! That was the common response anyway, the joke everyone was…

If you play video games, you’ve probably noticed that in recent years no game release is complete without a major push by retail stores and the publishers for us to pre-order the game ahead of time. Hell, there is never a time GameStop stores don’t have giant posters up advertising all the pre-order exclusive goodies you will get by simply slapping down a $5 deposit. Extra skins for your character! Extra missions and maps! Exclusive weapons! A cure for cancer maybe! The idea of pre-ordering games has gotten a lot of backlash from the gaming community, and for good reasons.…

CLEVELAND – On September 4, 2015 Robot Butt editor Steve DiMatteo married his now-wife Julia in a wonderful ceremony that they will cherish forever. Steve will certainly cherish it more than he does us. Leaving us for a pretty young thing. Fuck you, Steve, we don’t need you. We take that back! We don’t mean to get upset, it’s just…well, we had a good thing going didn’t we? This site? But you’re just going to throw it all away. Chuck us aside as if we were just so many Aaron Carter CDs. Well, we hope you’re happy. We’ll just carry on best…

With the return of school comes the return of homework. And with that comes the return of procrastinating with video games. My college finals most certainly came in a distant second to Super Smash Bros Brawl. And you aren’t getting the real college experience unless you have to pull an all-nighter writing a 15-page paper because you spent the previous week playing every Genesis game from your youth on an emulator. Well, good news guys, the procrastination is going to get worse. Regular readers of my posts (hi Mom) have probably noticed that I’ve been following news on Pokken Tournament with great intensity, despite…

Fun fact: The Match Group, the purveyors of digital tail who give us Match.com, OkCupid and Tinder, is going public. That’s right, Wall Street is going to get down with the flirtiest stock on the exchange. Swipe left to buy, swipe right to sell. I call this a fun fact not because it’s useful information, but because after I looked this up, the email I got from OkCupid yesterday morning made a little more sense. But just a little. What the fuck, OkCupid? I get that you want to bump up your subscription numbers to impress that IPO you’re crushing…

Vacation. With the sun shining down on you, you feel more alive than you have in a long time. You laugh and enjoy yourself. The worries and stress of everyday life mean nothing to you now. You live in the moment and it feels wonderful. The week ends. Your vacation is over. You head back home to your cramped home and dead-end job. The joy leaves you and is replaced by the soul-crushing realization that nothing has really changed. You are still the same; your life is the same. There is little to make you happy. Welcome home.

Video games have come a long way as a storytelling medium. The limitations of old have been supplanted by advanced technology that has created magic boxes capable of creating rich worlds in which game developers can spin all kinds of yarns. We are living in a golden-age utopia, provided you ignore everything else going on in the world. But for as far as games have come, there are certain issues inherent in trying to tell a story. The really big one is that games are interactive. Players control the actions of the hero for the majority of the game, which…

I’ve brought up Pokken Tournament before, and to this day I still have not received any donations to send me to Japan to play it. I guess everybody is too busy donating to the production of a water bottle that reminds you that you need to drink water, because apparently thinking, “I’m thirsty, maybe I should have a drink” takes too much effort now. But whatever, I have come to accept your lack of support and will settle for watching on the sidelines, hoping that Pokken Tournament makes its way to the U.S., but knowing it probably won’t. I will let this…

The rain was coming down hard. Hard enough to wake me from my sleep. And in those first few moments, I was genuinely unsure if the rain was real or if it was simply the downpour in Gotham that was still buzzing in my head. Staying up until four in the morning gliding through the skyline will do that, I guess. So as not to bury the lede, I’ll just start by saying this: I’m loving Batman: Arkham Knight. There are some issues, but overall this is the kind of game I was hoping for. We’ll start with the story, because…