Author: Tim Gaydos

Yesterday, Steve, one of our editors, wrote a post about how we are making slow steps toward progress regarding the Confederate flag and its prominence in our culture. I thought it was a well-written piece and agreed with him, which is a bigger deal than you might think because Steve and I don’t agree on ANYTHING. The man thinks Dumb And Dumber To is a good movie. Clearly he is a monster. But we’re on the same page with this issue. So while I wasn’t surprised to see some of the ABSOLUTELY INSANE comments on his post essentially bashing him and…

“You are 27 years old!” That was my mother’s reaction in a recent conversation when I told her I had taken off a day of work in order to spend it playing Batman: Arkham Knight after its release, the unsaid subtext being, “You are a goddamn adult.” I know my mom, and she was trying to be funny and give me a good ribbing, but the joke’s on her because I never have nor ever will be an adult if my binders of Darkwing Duck spec scripts have anything to say about it. To say that I’m excited for Arkham Knight…

As I sat in the theater, waiting for Jurassic World to start, I began to suffer a very slight anxiety attack. I love Jurassic Park and The Lost World, regardless of what other people think of it. And as bad as Jurassic Park III is, I still find myself watching it when I come across it on cable. There is just something great about dinosaurs that takes me back to being a kid in all the best ways. So ever since Jurassic World was announced and the filmmakers made it clear they had abandoned the ridiculous premise of dino-human hybrid soldiers,…

Plenty of people have a dim view of sequels. Just take a brief look back at Avengers: Age of Ultron. Critics could overlook any merits of the individual film by simply stating that it doesn’t feel “as fresh” as the first one. And this is true; the first Avengers was something that had never been done before. It would be impossible (or at least incredibly difficult) for any sequel to top that. But just because it isn’t “new” doesn’t mean it isn’t good or fun. If that were the case you might as well stop masturbating because hey, you’re just going through…

As if there were any day where Americans weren’t already downing two at a time, today is National Doughnut Day, where we celebrate everyone’s favorite morning dessert. We have a lot of these national days for trivial things, don’t we? National Doughnut Day, National Talk Like a Pirate Day. It’s almost as if we need to distract ourselves from the cruel and crushing realization that nothing matters. To keep us distracted from the cavernous hole within our souls. A hole that can only be filled by donuts. Which reminds me – let’s all go to Dunkin’ Donuts!

My little sister had her high school commencement yesterday, and while I enjoy listening to an extended roll call as much as the next guy, my mind did wander. Specifically, I started wondering what kind of commencement speech I would give were I ever asked. I never would be asked, because normally schools ask their successful alums to come back and give speeches, and so far my greatest achievement has been getting McDonald’s to respond to allegations about the McRib being made of human meat. So yeah, corporate interactions aside, real winner here. So since I likely won’t be in any real…

Hope you guys had plenty of scotch at the ready, because last night we said a boozy farewell to Mad Men, the acclaimed period drama about identity theft that everyone is cool with because when you are pretty like Jon Hamm you can be forgiven for anything. After seven seasons of examining ’60s-era sexism, excess and sideburns, Matt Weiner and his staff finally brought the series to a close in a way that I’m sure will divide fans because thanks to the magic of the Internet, it is now impossible not to do that. Personally, I think it was a fine…

This past weekend provided ample opportunities to pay to watch people get punched a lot. If that’s not your thing, there wasn’t much to do other than pretend that Kate’s new baby will somehow bring meaning to your life from an ocean away or watch horses run on a track. But back to the punching. This weekend brought us two very anticipated pieces of entertainment: Avengers: Age of Ultron and the Floyd Mayweather/Manny Pacquiao boxing match. Each made more money than I will ever be able to dream of as I sit here and eat Ramen noodles for breakfast. Age of…

A few months ago, I got all worked up about a Pokémon fighting game that would be hitting arcades in Japan, and only Japan, this year because I am being punished for all of my past sins. Well, over the weekend we got some more news on that front, as a trailer for the ghost Pokémon Gengar as a playable character showed up online. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbqNZ235cBk My initial reaction was: AWESOME THIS JUST GOT EVEN BETTER AND HOLY SHIT DID HE JUST MEGA EVOLVE HE DID THAT’S SO TIGHT. Gengar is a badass Pokémon, so including him seems like a no-brainer.…

By having its boogeyman be a personification of STD’s that slowly stalks its victims, It Follows is a successful horror movie about Pepé Le Pew. Which is interesting, not only because we need more gritty reboots of Looney Tunes, but because slasher movies have always been about sex as a subtext. By making it the actual primary plot, we now have an alternative method of teaching kids about safe sex. It’s a much more effective method of promoting abstinence than Catholicism.