Hey. It’s me. The wombat whose perfect, square-shaped turds you heard about. Maybe you first saw me on the Discovery Channel, or Animal Planet, or outside your window, but how you met me doesn’t matter. What matters is your pain. Your torment. My pleasure. Over the years, scientists have proposed several explanations as to why I poop the way I do. Some claim that I’m trying to mark my territory. Others say that this is a highly-specialized means of attracting mates, or a way to communicate secret messages to other wombats. All of that is—pardon the pun—a load of crap.…
Author: Valmic Mukund
Valmic Mukund
Valmic Mukund is a writer and humorist from Northern California currently based in Toronto, Canada. He was previously a writer and assistant editor for The Free Peach, the University of California, Berkeley's premier satire publication. He has been published in the Berkeley Fiction Review, Lunch Ticket, and Every Day Fiction, among others. Instagram: @sailordoohickeycomics