Author: Walt Braley

‘Scuse me, cowpoke. I haven’t seen you around here before. I’m the sheriff of this here town you’ve stopped in. I’ve seen your type before. Black coat, black boots, black hat. All black except that shiny silver six shooter hanging on the hip there. I bet yer thinkin’ this whole saloon hushed and whispered when your spurs came through that swingin’ door because we all know you’re one bad outlaw. Well, think again and then think it through a third time, it was actually because according to code 6-7a set by the town fire marshall, having over twenty-five people inside…

Back in May of 2024, we sent a shockwave through the entire world of internet humor when we debuted our completely original character that isn’t based on anything, Legally Nondescript Paperclip Holder. In the months since, the article has received dozens of views, leading us to believe we need to spend somewhere in the ballpark of $4,000 to hire a team of writers and artists to give him his own comic book. In fact, we believe this so much, that we already did it, and even went over-budget! It’s all going to be worth it in the end as we…

Well, it looks like the foolish hitmen that tried to take me out are going to get away with this one. Those rascals normally would have made the biggest, and final, mistake of their lives trying to take out me, a retired merchant of death with 200 confirmed assassinations and a really cool and convoluted backstory, but their going to get away scot-free. See, I left this violent world behind years ago, vowing to never go back. Why’d I do it? Love, but that’s a different story for another time. What’s important is that when I retired, I did what…

Walt and Seth use their analytical minds to do a comprehensive breakdown of Groundhog Day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcsDrctgf3E

Enough! Babies, where do you get off? you don’t get to hog everything! Look, just because you’re a baby, that doesn’t mean the whole world has to stop what they’re doing to give you everything you want. No one else is going to say it. Everyone is thinking it, but they’re all going to remain silent and just continue letting you run rampant over their lives. Well not me. I’m here to finally put it out there. Just because you’re small, adorable, and will ultimately die without our constant supervision, you don’t get to have a monopoly on awesome stunts. …

Regardless of your thoughts on AI and it’s ability to instantly create a picture of Spider-man dunking a basketball over Wolverine in high heels, I truly believe we can all agree that the new Google AI feature sucks and is bad. I decided to use today’s post to basically rant about that and offer a perfect inarguable example of why it sucks and is bad. You see, a few days ago I was trying to write a piece about how the fast food seafood restaurant Long John Silver’s used to use the slogan “We Speak Fish.” It turns out no…

I want more than anything to be able to write one of these articles about a weird corporate partnership comic book Marvel or DC did and feel shocked or confounded, but at this point, it seems I need to accept that every brand on Earth has paid to have a canon comic hero who is extremely powerful and best friends with every popular hero. This time, we have to look at “The Technician,” Craftsman’s maintenance themed superhero that for reasons I’ll never understand unless I become an editor at DC wasn’t just named “The Craftsman.” In 2012, Craftsman paid buckets…

Earlier today I sat down to write an article titled “When Did Long John Silvers Stop Speaking Fish?” You see, in 2011, the fried fish fast food chain began using the slogan “we speak fish” in their marketing. I always thought it was funny, and referenced it out loud recently, only for no one else to remember it. This made me want to figure out when and why they abandoned the phrase. I failed to do that. I genuinely looked around for a bit and could not find a simple answer to my question. I still plan to dig deeper,…

We know that if you’re reading this, you’re likely skimming in-between looking up at dubbed Squid Game or the new season of the hit reality competition series The Traitors. We want to make sure you know that we respect your time and appreciate your limited attention, so we’ve designed this funny listicle to be easily readable while still intaking other media. Here’s the article: 10 Cereal Mascots Deemed Too Terrifying for Children With the popularity of Frankenberry and Count Chocula, a number of other cereal brands thought the key to success was to come up with a horrifying character to…

I’ve been writing a lot about weird comics and brand integrations lately, and this was supposed to just be more of the same. This article should be titled “Let’s Talk About Captain Citrus,” but no, they pushed me too far this time. It isn’t enough to discuss this forgotten hero. I now need to destroy him. Before I cover our comedy site with his blood, let me tell you who captain citrus is. Originally, he was just a simple mascot for the Florida Department of Citrus (FDOC). He also looked like this: Or in our world, this: Then, in 2014,…