Author: Walt Braley

I’ve been writing a lot about weird comics and brand integrations lately, and this was supposed to just be more of the same. This article should be titled “Let’s Talk About Captain Citrus,” but no, they pushed me too far this time. It isn’t enough to discuss this forgotten hero. I now need to destroy him. Before I cover our comedy site with his blood, let me tell you who captain citrus is. Originally, he was just a simple mascot for the Florida Department of Citrus (FDOC). He also looked like this: Or in our world, this: Then, in 2014,…

Long before the Green M&M’s sexy heels made conservatives too horny and caused a national emergency, the anthropomorphized candies were controversial icons. The classic Red and Yellow commercials, featuring 3D animated M&M characters that seem to exist in our world, have been running since the late 90’s, and the “are they cannibals?!” jokes and theories started almost immediately. But the jokes being well-worn doesn’t mean we don’t deserve an answer! A widely accepted truth seems to be that the living M&Ms are a type of being, and the candy is just made in their likeness. Less cannibalistic and more akin…

Comic book tie-in ads have never been that rare, but in the 90’s they were likely in every comic issue that Marvel produced. Spider-Man would rescue Capn’ Crunch from pirates, or The Hulk would fight off thugs to protect his Hostess Apple Pies, but it wasn’t exactly commonplace for an entire comic book to be devoted to brand promotion. Enter Combo Man. A new overpowered Marvel hero that was created in 1995 to promote the actual snack, Combos. Not the point, but I didn’t even know Combos had been around since the 90’s, much less that they had their own…

It’s 1993, Michael Bay is still two years away from directing his first feature film, Bad Boys. He’s known as one of the best video directors in the business, having directed iconic media like a Vanilla Ice music video and the September 1990 Playboy video centerfold. He then gets his first crack at the big time, directing an ad for the California Milk Processor Board, or “Big Milk” as their known in most industry circles. The ad lacks Bay’s classic mise en scene of explosions or Optimus Prime driving on a bridge in Shanghai, but is still worth a watch.…

Here is a normal comic about early mobile telephones. Cellular is available to rent on any of your favorite digital movie platforms.

I recently learned that, technically, you don’t need a state-issued driver’s license to drive a car in an official NASCAR sanctioned race. It got me wondering, what other things feel like they definitely require a license, but don’t. I did some digging and it turns out none of these “require” a license. 10. Fly a “light” aircraft It turns out, much like NASCAR, flying a light aircraft has its own licensing procedures. That said, flying a “large” aircraft in the U.S. has a licensing system that also requires a valid driver’s license. Neat! 9. Drive a farm tractor or moped…

Here is a normal cartoon about the sun.

Please show these to your mothers, and let me know if they would believe they are real and then be okay with you skipping a dinner.

Look, I love when the rudest superhero breaks the fourth wall to let the audience (me!) know we are all on the same page. When Deadpool points out things like Marvel’s phase 4 Cinematic Universe inconsistencies or Juggernaut’s weird balls, I bleat like a goat with glee. That said, in the new movie, when he stopped dodging beams from a giant mutant-hunting sentinel and said my full name to the camera I thought something seemed off. After, when he waved and said “sorry pal, you get hit by a Divvy biker going way too fast on March 13th, 2028,” I…