A video from 2022 has been rediscovered where new House Speaker Mike Johnson reveals that to fight porn addiction, him and his son use an eroticism monitoring app that notifies the other whenever one attempts to view pornography. I haven’t seen the video, but assume he is being waterboarded or slammed against a desk by Batman when he gives this information. Otherwise why would he say it. Regardless, he’s been catching a lot of flack in the media lately. I am here to say that I don’t think it’s that weird. What’s wrong with a father and his son 17-year-old…
Author: Walt Braley
Walt Braley
Walt Braley is an editor for the site you're reading right now. He took up comedy after being unmasked and forced to retire comically early in his luchador wrestling career.
Elon Musk debuted his own competitor in the AI space this week with Grok, a machine learning tool designed to answer anyone’s questions, no matter how abstract or difficult. We were lucky enough to get to sit down with Grok, and ask it anything we could think of, and see if it really does have all the answers. Robot Butt: Hello, Grok. We’d love to ask you some questions. How are you? Grok: Hello, hi, hi, you can ask me anything and I have answer for you. I am good, thank for asking. I just watched hit Marvel Entertainment film…
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This post is timely, topical, and perfectly in season. Kids these days just aren’t scared of anything that’s in black and white. When you look at what terrifies the current crop of tweens it’s all possessed dolls and the government mandated 24-hour Purge. That’s why we’ve come up with these new spins on classic monster movies sure to chill the bones of modern audiences. Frankenstein: Lightning strikes, the monster lives! The next day he is discharged by Dr. Frankenstein and given a $300,000 bill for the medical treatment. The horror boils over as Frankenstein’s monster learns being sewn together with…
Wow, two letters in a row from me, an editor and person who is not spiraling in his personal life. You luck Halloween dogs! To breeze through this announcement, we love Halloween season and always receive a plethora of great content during the spooky season. Unfortunately, since I was lost in that haunted desert ravine for all of October, we missed the opportunity to post as much seasonal content as we would have liked to. So, we found this simple fix. I mailed the white house, and they approved us turning November into Halloween 2. You’re probably thinking “wait, do…
Hello loyal readers. This is Walt Braley, one of the two editors for this famous website. I wanted to take a fraction of your daily internet humor reading to make myself feel a little better by explaining why in the middle of September our posting consistency plummeted. This post is sincere and completely truthful. No jokes in this one. In mid-September, I lived one of my many beautiful dreams and co-directed my first feature film. I’m not going to expound on that because I promise in a couple of months it’s all I’m going to post about. Then, the day…
Robot Butt presents Jason’s Dozen. A hilarious collection of 13 blood-covered pieces on the film franchise Friday the 13th. Find out what a camp schedule from Crystal Lake looks like, learn why Jason should actually be made a counselor, read absurd essays from writers who have seen these movies too many times, and so much more. This anthology has something to offer whether you’re a Jason super fan, or only know of America’s favorite mass-murdering goalie through pop-culture. It’s too bad we only sell it from a shack deep in the woods… Want to hold this sopping-wet anthology in your…
STOP doing your dishes and come check this out. This guy got a new hat! Enough laundry! I need all your mental energy devoted right here, right now because he got a new hat! Hey guys, I had a lot of boring chores I needed to do today and didn’t do them. My wife is going to be pissed when she gets home from her spine surgery so I’m trying to come up with a quick excuse to deflect some of the heat. You know when a big pop culture thing happens and we all just collectively agree to only…
I AM AN IMBECILE! Literally three months ago Aaron told us all the date to mark for his “Slime Night.” He was very excited and made it very clear that we ALL needed to be there. He picked the date so far ahead so that we’d all be available. He even did the evil thing where we asked if we were free that day THEN told us what was happening after we’d all said we were free. He said if any of us cancel or back out we better “have a really good, sincere, and life-altering excuse.” He said if…
Hello internet user. You’ll find that you’ve really stepped in it this time. Yesterday, while you were watching a 22-minute Youtube essay about how they make some ski slopes harder than others, we jacked into your mainframe. Using a half dozen jailbroken Nintendo DSi’s connected to a laptop via fiber wires, we followed your data trail and hacked into your computer. More specifically, we got right into your Google Chrome web browser. You’re wondering what we were after… It’s simple, really. We’ve taken one of your tabs. Don’t believe me? Count. You’ll notice you had 46 and now have 44.…