Author: Walt Braley
Walt Braley is an editor for the site you're reading right now. He took up comedy after being unmasked and forced to retire comically early in his luchador wrestling career.
As a gaming journalist, I am obligated to ask the important questions, no matter how much I don’t want to. That is why I have no choice but to finally ask: Why did RARE make Candy Kong into a sex symbol in Donkey Kong 64? This is a game where every character looks predominantly like the animal they are portraying. This is a game where the main cast of characters looks like this: I’ll note a few important things here: The only humanoid aspect of our titular Donkey Kong is that he wears a tie Dixie Kong is also a…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6db6nq_ne6g
A shoplifter was caught on camera in the Lincoln Park Zoo gift shop. The footage from the shop’s security camera clearly shows that the thief carefully tucked a bobblehead of Robert, the zoo’s giraffe, into his hoodie pocket when the cashier had their back turned. Along with the bobble, he also carried out the zoo’s only African chimpanzee, Alexander. Footage reveals that he held Alexander’s hand and led him out the front door, loudly stating, “It’s okay, I asked first.” The bobblehead retails for $14.99 plus Illinois sales tax, a notable loss for the small souvenir store patrons walk through…
The academy awards have been on a steady decline in viewership for years, and I think this is the year they finally hit bottom. AARP Magazine just released their winners for the 2023 “AARP Movies for Grownups.” It’s hard to imagine anyone tuning in to see what films win at the 95th Academy Awards when we already know what film won the far more coveted AARP Movies for Grownups Award for Best Movie for Grownups. The awards, often called the “Oscars” killer, are some of the most esteemed awards in entertainment. The awards are voted on by the editors of…
You know when you are supposed to be doing something productive and get sucked down a YouTube rabbit hole? You know, like, when you are supposed to prepare and publish engaging web content for the hit humor site Robot Butt Dot Com but instead you find out Shaquille O’Neal had a rap career complete with album and tour? Of course you do, it happens to all of us! Anyways, once I found out this existed there was no scenario where I could accomplish anything else for at least 48 hours. Honestly, finding this and listening six times makes this arguably…
There are two things I know to be true about White Lotus. It’s written by Survivor runner-up Mike White I haven’t seen any of it I personally don’t think either of those facts should stop me from pitching exactly how season 3 should go. Season one took place in the exotic locale of BLANK (Note to self, remember to look up where this took place). Then season two took place in the beautiful BLANK (look this one up too. Both are probably on the wiki). With two great resorts already featured, there’s only one place left for the show to…
In the new Happy Madison film “Home Team,” Sandlerverse regular and former mall enforcement officer Kevin James plays Sean Payton, the real-life coach of the New Orleans Saints for over twenty years. Specifically, James portrays the coach during the 2012 NFL season when he was suspended after his staff was accused of paying out bonuses (bounties) to players who could injure the players for opposing teams. Instead of digging into on the most interesting sports scandals of the 2010s, the movie only showcases the portion of that suspension that Payton spent coaching his son’s little league football team. The film…
The undefeated East Lake High Bobcats kept their streak alive last Friday with a huge 68 – 10 win against Midrow Park High’s Stinging Hornets. The win was due, at least in some part, to an outstanding performance from East Lake Quarterback Chad “Bullzdozer” McKenzie, who scored 61 of the team’s points. The victory sets a record for not only the Bobcats but also for total points scored by a team in their district’s history, making it the game that everyone is talking about. “It was unreal. I’ve never seen anything like it. He was frothing at the mouth.” Said…
Holy cow! David? What are you doing here at the YMCA gym? Every day? Huh, yeah, weird that I haven’t ever seen you in here. Yeah, it’s been forever. What’s been up? Been working out? Haha, I’m just kidding. You do look kind of jacked, though. Me? Yeah not much, I’ve just been working, hanging out, you know, slam dunking a basketball. Oh, I took up bird watching a bit. Just to get outside a little and- What? No, yeah, I’ve been doing a lot of dunking a regulation-size basketball into a 12-foot-tall hoop lately. Just kind of one of…