Author: Zachary Truran

Everyone loves a story about overcoming the odds, so we’re really pleased to highlight the amazing fighting spirit of this corporate hospital network that somehow keeps finding ways to send medical bills to a dead person. This miracle of modern medicine definitely shouldn’t go unnoticed! Despite suffering a series of setbacks, such as the family prioritizing funeral costs and using the remaining funds to hire an estate attorney, William Beaumont Hospital has defied the odds and found the strength to send over $700,000 in bills to the dead patient’s son. It’s both a testament to the hospital’s persistence and a…

When my family told me I had to host Thanksgiving, I got nervous. I had never cooked a turkey before, let alone made cranberry sauce. It had to be perfect like the family Thanksgivings we used to have. I knew it would be tough. My parents hadn’t seen each other in years, and my sisters hadn’t spoken in months. Plus, both my grandparents are dead. But who said dead grandparents can’t celebrate the holidays? After I removed their frail bodies from the earth, I took them to my favorite taxidermist. The results stunned me. Grandpa’s hair sparkled in the light.…

Environmentalists everywhere will be stunned when they hear about this major eco-friendly win out of Myanmar. Instead of burning off Rohingya in pits and releasing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere, Myanmar has decided to reduce its minority footprint in alignment with the Paris Agreement! Military junta officials have announced they will repurpose the country’s Rohingya population as compost, setting the standard for 21st century eco-friendly ethnic cleansing. Incredible news! It’s so good to see a military junta taking advantage of the world’s most abundant renewable resource and using it responsibly. After rounding up a group of forced volunteers, soldiers instruct…

Over the past several decades, women have emerged as innovators in technology and leaders in business, becoming power brokers in nearly every facet of society. All, it seems, except one. “Men have been responsible for each mass shooting in America this year, widening the appallingly large violent crime gap that already exists between men and women,” said Dr. Lawrence Thornburg, a University of Maryland criminologist. “This isn’t a particularly great sign of equality.” But American attitudes toward the murder gap are improving. A poll Dr. Thornburg conducted found that nearly 80% of Americans are receptive to the idea of a…

Most kids with terminal illnesses have a favorite stuffed animal from a multibillion dollar corporate entity they grow to love before passing on. But not all are so fortunate, which is why British Petroleum stepped in and announced it will use 100 percent authentic oil from its famous Deepwater Horizon disaster to stuff the decayed remains of all the wildlife it killed – called Petrol Pals! – and donate them to children with terminal illnesses. If you’re a child who’s dying, your wish just came true. You see, a lot of times, people do the easy thing and just talk about how…

My son lives and breathes baseball. It all started when he was a baby. I would plop him in front of the games on TV. He’d stare at the screen for minutes before trying to crawl out of the room because he couldn’t handle the excitement. But I never let him. If I didn’t let him watch anything else, I knew he would fall in love with baseball like I did, and all the screaming and crying would be worth it. It was. He spent hours after school throwing baseballs at a target that was a photo of his mother.…