Mitch McConnell vowing to never allow a vote on any gun legislation while simultaneously shitting his lunch soup into an…
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Dear LinkedIn user, After 56 years of managing your professional identity™, LinkedIn is closing up shop for good. We loved…
Dear American voter (and Kid Rock fan!), I come to you today with some news sweeter than the guitars on…
WASHINGTON – Five years into the Great Tariff Depression, total economic collapse is looking more and more likely. Unable to…
Tuna Sushi with Nouveau Wasabi This tuna was scraped from the inside of a can we found in an abandoned…
You guys, when I’m off to mandatory work duty to help build a statue of Great Leader, I can get…
Let me be clear: sleep had hobbled this great nation for too long. We know that when individuals are asleep…
Hey government! It’s me, Megan K. Schwartz/Civilian 8FB4U5T7TI7T92Z. As it becomes increasingly likely that you’ll soon begin surveilling me via…
1. A Brand-New Name: In fulfilling his campaign pledge to rename our country the Republic of Bawitdaba, President Rock held a…