1. Vegans live for the moral high ground Who needs a down comforter to keep you warm at night when…
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So there’s a lot of horrible stuff going on lately. But like most people who occasionally catch a glimpse of…
Acronyms are stupid as hell, primarily because they never stand for anything tasty. They’re always about how you should move…
Guy, What the fuck is your name? Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Whatever your name is, dude, bravo. Bravo. I’ve participated…
Given the recent college admissions scandal and the public’s ferocious backlash against elite institutions of higher learning, I feel an…
1. Adopt the preparation methods of a bank robber: Stake out a restaurant for several weeks before your reservation (from…
Dear Self, Please accept this letter as a formal notification that I’m resigning from my position as Founder/Owner/CEO/CFO/Wearer of Lots…
The Fake News Media has been at it again this week with their LIES. They WRONGLY said I called Apple…
Every year during Lent, Catholics and other devout Christians aren’t allowed to eat meat on Fridays (or Ash Wednesday), as…
EUGENE, Ore. – TSA officials at Eugene Airport are used to dealing with boisterous travelers that want to bring an…