Mitch McConnell vowing to never allow a vote on any gun legislation while simultaneously shitting his lunch soup into an…
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Dear LinkedIn user, After 56 years of managing your professional identity™, LinkedIn is closing up shop for good. We loved…
Dear American voter (and Kid Rock fan!), I come to you today with some news sweeter than the guitars on…
Tuna Sushi with Nouveau Wasabi This tuna was scraped from the inside of a can we found in an abandoned…
You guys, when I’m off to mandatory work duty to help build a statue of Great Leader, I can get…
Let me be clear: sleep had hobbled this great nation for too long. We know that when individuals are asleep…
Hey government! It’s me, Megan K. Schwartz/Civilian 8FB4U5T7TI7T92Z. As it becomes increasingly likely that you’ll soon begin surveilling me via…
1. A Brand-New Name: In fulfilling his campaign pledge to rename our country the Republic of Bawitdaba, President Rock held a…
Credit: Gage Skidmore In his five terms in office, Donald Trump came close to overhauling the country’s education system. He definitely…
Don’t be alarmed. I’ve come from the not-too-distant future and boy am I glad to be here. Because, I’ll be…