“Which is why you are the only one with a heart pure enough to save Extrecia!” Zorbis, a two-foot-tall bearded…
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Rylan, sit with your dear mother for just a minute. We need to have a little talk about what happened…
Greetings, staff member! Three years ago, we launched a gratuitous hiring frenzy to tackle an untenable stream of project-based work…
I’ve been praying a lot lately, and I just have to tell you something: God has really put it on…
Hey, what’s up, chump? It’s me, your twenty-fourth birthday. Mom wanted me to remind you to take your dishes up…
Hello shamans, wellness bloggers, and white women who burn incense and call themselves witches, We hope this newsletter finds you…
Congratulations! You, an improviser, are about to have sex! But this isn’t an excuse to let your training in the…
I need to focus on being a good person again. That’s why I pulled you aside, while you were boiling…
A faded Blockbuster membership card A set of bat-branded brass knuckles Aerosol bottled bat urine (for marking territory) Criminals’ teeth…
Hello, and welcome back to school! Please make sure your child comes prepared to my class with the following supplies…