Let me be clear: sleep had hobbled this great nation for too long. We know that when individuals are asleep…
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Hey government! It’s me, Megan K. Schwartz/Civilian 8FB4U5T7TI7T92Z. As it becomes increasingly likely that you’ll soon begin surveilling me via…
1. A Brand-New Name: In fulfilling his campaign pledge to rename our country the Republic of Bawitdaba, President Rock held a…
Credit: Gage Skidmore In his five terms in office, Donald Trump came close to overhauling the country’s education system. He definitely…
Don’t be alarmed. I’ve come from the not-too-distant future and boy am I glad to be here. Because, I’ll be…
Yikes, you have a splinter! You’re so screwed. I don’t have any antibiotics, but maybe you’d like this pre-Event Dora…
1. Now that the collection agents are all dead, you’re off the hook for your student loans. 2. Traffic is,…
I have hit the vintage clothing store jackpot: the perfect jacket, I’m sure of it. Do I have other jackets?…
Consider the East Asian monsoon. This famous weather pattern, immortalized in the folklore and literature of the East, causes a cycle…
A scene from 2163’s ‘That’s Just Nuclear Fallout, Charlie Brown’ Your Dog Is at It Again, Charlie Brown! You’re Pitcher…