#BePlagiarist #BeConduitForYourParentsChainMigration #BeGardeningInHeelsAndNotHandHolding #BeFashionablyToneDeaf #BePartOfTheResistanceButNotReallyAtAll #BeUnflappableButNotLikeInAGoodWay #BeBodyDouble #BeDismissiveOfYourHusbandsAffairs #BeReadyWithALongTermDivorceStrategy #BeObjectOfScornAndSympathy #BeConcerenedAboutChildrenExceptThoseInCages #BeTheChangeYouWantToSeeInTheWorldButOnlyByEspousingEmptyPlatitudesNotByActuallyDoingAnything #BeInvisible #BeSupportiveInTheMostUnconvincingWayEver #BeAmbivalentButShockedWhenPeopleRealizeIt #BePassiveAggressiveButMostlyPassive #BeRestingBitchFace #BeWishingYouWereInNewYorkWhileLivingInWashingtonSleepingInASecondBedroom #BeAnEmptyShellFloatingThroughLifeCarriedByTheCurrentsOfTheOcean…
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Dear Mom, You’re watching me write this from the bushes outside my window, but I’m pretending not to see you.…
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors is way better than it has any right to be. It expands…
If you’re like me, you’ve wondered how and why Hollywood continues to make non-animated movies about dogs. Haven’t all the…
Tip #1: Choose Healthy Parents Preferably, you want both mother and father to be free of cancer, heart disease, diabetes…
I saw Hocus Pocus on TV today. It was nonchalant and without warning, as it always is. The pumpkin community…
I have been a satisfied customer of HelloFresh since its inception, and I’ve always made it a point to try…
Halloween is right around the corner and you know what that means: another shot at corporate’s Best Halloween Party in…
I begin by applying fake tan to my body about a week before the shoot. My favorite tanning lotion is…
When you wake up in the morning and rub the sleep out of your eyes and the tarantulas’ hairy, prickly…