Dry shampoo: A grown-ass woman’s personal Jesus Christ. If the memes are true, all of our scalps are comprised of…
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What you will need: A sledgehammer An old tire placed on its side An overwhelming sense of rage Workout…
Due to ongoing concerns about offending our customers through the “holiday season” by saying “Merry Christmas,” we at Starbucks decided…
Matt Damon is wondering why we aren’t talking about the “preponderance” of men who do not commit acts of sexual misconduct and…
Every year Santa wonders why there’s such high turnover among his elves. It seems after every Christmas he must bring…
To whom it may concern (you all should be very concerned), You might not have heard much from me in…
Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you finally hate yourself enough to lose the weight. That’s both the first and easiest…
1. Paint the skin tags in your armpit hair festive Christmas colors! Now it’s like you’ve got a tree under each…
Diabetes runs in my family. My mother has it. My grandmother had it. Chances are good that if I keep…
Santa, It’s Donald, Greatest President Ever. But you know that. You have been waiting for my letter all year. You…