My papa had just returned from the farm when I caught my first glimpse of Eyes Wide Shut. I stood…
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It started out innocently. At first, when you stuck your hands under the faucet, the water wouldn’t turn on, so…
1. “You Belong to Me Until I Say So in Writing” 2. “No Teardrops on Your Coffin or His” 3. “Forever…
First they came for my flag, and I said nothing. Then they came for my culture, and I said nothing.…
Dear Idaho, If I eat one more mashed potato I WILL DIE. I need you to stop. I know what…
You ever hear about a couple so perfect for each other, your heart can’t help but soar? Like that couple…
1. My butthole doesn’t discriminate 2. My butthole has what most would say is a flattering haircut 3. When my butthole…
You’re in my Film 103 class, but you’re a girl. And since you’re a girl, I can’t help but wonder:…
WASHINGTON – Following the controversial and violent rally in Charlottesville and the counter-protests that have emerged in its wake, the various…
Dear HGTV, Look, I agreed to be on the Property Brothers’ show Property Brothers because my wife goes fucking apeshit…