Welcome to Sam’s Club, you pieces of shit. You are standing before us in the candlelight of our back storage…
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Will you survive the real world? 3:00 p.m. It’s the first day of freedom. The scheduled MacBook alert reminds you…
I lost my job a while back and became a full-time (unpaid) writer. I work mostly from home which has…
“Look at that dog tied up outside the bodega… isn’t it cute? What if we kidnapped it? Nah! I’m just…
How quickly we allow our civil liberties to decay out of cowardice and the ease of complacency. Whatever happened to…
There was blood on the carpet. A few days before quarantine, the new carpet arrived. The one that looked so…
It’s simple. If you want to be a real assassin, then you must kill someone every day. No excuses. As…
It’s recently come to my attention that there is a global healthcare crisis that’s led to thousands of deaths and…
We’ve reached the coveted Sweet 16 of the Greatest Robot Butt Post of All Time Tournament. Things are getting tense,…
Thomas Edison is widely regarded as the finest and most prolific inventor in American history. Between 1869 and his death…