Every year, approximately 73 trillion sperm lose their lives to irresponsible ejaculations across the United States. This growing trend has…
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1. Drywall Pizza Crust 2. Talcum Powder Tortillas 3. Gluey Mac & Cheese 4. Soap Noodles (aka Soodles) 5. Mashed Cotton…
You have found yourself once again battling a gruesome headache due to a longstanding sinus infection. Though your nasal passages…
Summer is just around the corner, and you’re in luck! Wally Wolf’s is still looking for a select few to…
It is me, Claire Colburn, from the oft-maligned 2005 film “Elizabethtown,” and may I just say? YOU SUCK! It’s possible…
Let’s get this out of the way right now: YES, I know I can predict the future using psychohistory and…
[Editor’s Note: The following is an excerpt from an interview conducted by the Select Committee to Investigate the Destruction of…
In Major League Baseball’s latest attempt to alienate their fans and destroy what was once“America’s pastime,” the “League” thought it…
EVANSTON, IL– Medical students and staff at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine began the study of one Dandy Jurkins,…
My name is Rover and I’m a good pup. This is my truth. My last day at the Paw Patrol…