MARS – For the third straight month, interest rates at the First Bank of Mars have seen a full percentage…
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ZORGON-3 – Soaring far above the endless blue skies of Zorgon-3, locked in an endless and graceful orbital dance, flies Star Base…
HILL VALLEY, Calif. – According to eyewitness reports from local residents, an unidentified flying object was seen appearing and disappearing…
61-year-old toll booth operator Richard Simpkins was found yesterday stuck inside a time warp of his own making, caused by…
PHILADELPHIA – Coworkers were shocked to discover Friday that eating KFC chicken for lunch alone at his desk was somehow not…
PITTSBURGH – After changing out of his work clothes, putting a frozen pizza in the oven and turning on his PlayStation…
SEATTLE – During a meeting with executive board members Tuesday to discuss 2016 budget plans, Southern Trinity Hospital CEO Dayton Moore introduced a…
OKLAHOMA CITY – Despite early predictions, a rock-hard boner tragically went unused late Monday night. Baffling locals, the waste of the…
SINGAPORE – Saying he was “just trying to get a jump on Columbus Day deals,” Flint, Michigan resident Martin Cranley unexpectedly…
U.S. markets soared this morning, bolstered mostly by impressive gains in the National Tragedy sector. Outperforming even the most optimistic…