Tuna Sushi with Nouveau Wasabi This tuna was scraped from the inside of a can we found in an abandoned…
You guys, when I’m off to mandatory work duty to help build a statue of Great Leader, I can get…
Let me be clear: sleep had hobbled this great nation for too long. We know that when individuals are asleep…
Hey government! It’s me, Megan K. Schwartz/Civilian 8FB4U5T7TI7T92Z. As it becomes increasingly likely that you’ll soon begin surveilling me via…
1. A Brand-New Name: In fulfilling his campaign pledge to rename our country the Republic of Bawitdaba, President Rock held a…
Credit: Gage Skidmore In his five terms in office, Donald Trump came close to overhauling the country’s education system. He definitely…
DETROIT – Following a contentious trial that captivated the nation, OCP Crime Prevention Unit 001, commonly known as RoboCop, was…
Don’t be alarmed. I’ve come from the not-too-distant future and boy am I glad to be here. Because, I’ll be…
Yikes, you have a splinter! You’re so screwed. I don’t have any antibiotics, but maybe you’d like this pre-Event Dora…
1. Now that the collection agents are all dead, you’re off the hook for your student loans. 2. Traffic is,…