DES MOINES, Iowa – Three months after being relegated to the freezer because it wasn’t consumed fast enough, a now rock-hard…
Dear Human, I am writing to notify you that I am resigning from my position as your fidget spinner, effective…
“We should have a contest as to which of the Networks, plus CNN and not including Fox, is the most…
Rex Tillerson is the 69th Secretary of State (nice), but it’s sure starting to feel like he won’t be for…
LONDON – The wait is over! Famed chocolatier and Warden of the 9th Interdimensional Rift Willy Wonka has at last selected…
WASHINGTON – Recently, Robot Butt was approached by an individual claiming that Republican Senate hopeful Roy Moore dated Heffalumps and Woozles…
BOSTON – Yesterday, Mark Evans woke up from a coma more than seventeen years after a horrific car crash that almost…
It’s almost time to see – what’s it going to be? An ambitious little he, or a bossy little she?…
The man in the wrinkled, short-sleeve button-up sighs over his beer. It’s been a hell of a week, he says.…
HEAVEN – Citing significant safety concerns, about 3.4 billion human males were recalled last week by Heaven’s Department of Product Safety.…